#018 - Zombieland (2009)

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Writer: Rhett Reese & Paul Wernick

Runtime: 80 min

I realize I'm going to receive some gentle ribbing for returning to my blog some three months after I slapped it across the face, booted it from my moving car, and left it stranded along the side of the highway with nary a truck stop to be seen for miles in either direction. So, gentlemen (because I know all you ladies would have the decency to let me be), allow me to do the honors:

"Woah! A new post! Watch out! Don't call it a comeback!"

"What?! You have a blog?! Since when?!"

"What took you so long?! I've been DYING for a new update!"

Alright, if anyone says that last one, I'm sure it's with a heavy dose of sarcasm. And I applaud you for you efforts. But I just realized that, dammit, I shouldn't give up so easily. If I had reached #145 or #207 or something, that would have been a reasonable stopping point. But to only get to #017 and then quit? That's pathetic. That's like going to run a marathon, and as soon as you find yourself squeezed in amongst the other participants at the starting line, saying, "Oh, you know what? My feet are kind of sore... I think my wife's calling... I left the stove on." I should at least give it a half-hearted effort, and run until I pass the first Dunkin Donuts, at which point I will mysteriously vanish along with a half-dozen double chocolates.

I checked out Zombieland this weekend. Saturday night, the 9:50 showing at The Bridge (Cinema de Lux) in University City. There's nothing about this theater that makes it worthwhile to spend $12.50 to see a movie there, unless you consider assigned seating to be a "perk", which I don't--though I should say having assigned tickets does actually make it easier to sit directly next to a random person, which I ended up doing. Normally I'd adhere to the 1- or 2-seat-gap rule, but at least this way I could be like, "I didn't have any choice! They assigned me here!"

Given the choice between seeing The Invention of Lying (which, don't get me wrong, seems like it would be pretty decent, but didn't seem like as raucous as a late Saturday showing should be) and Zombieland, I fell quickly on the latter, mostly for the lack of morality exhibited in the movie's previews. It didn't disappoint. (Cue "I had to read four paragraphs to get your first thought on the movie? Thanks.")

Here's why Zombieland succeeded: it was fun. And actually, unlike most movies that try to run with the debauched-good-time theme, there were surprisingly few moments throughout the film where I found myself shaking my head thinking, "This is absolutely stupid," or, "I don't even get what's going on here." That was largely my response to the movie The Goods, which was out this summer starring Jeremy Piven. Zombieland, however, stuck to the basics, didn't really try anything new, and executed a well-designed plan thanks to hundreds of gallons of fake blood, a tiny bit of charm from Jesse Eisenberg, a hefty dose of swagger from Woody Harrelson, and an epic cameo by Bill Murray (Bill Groundhog-Day-Ghostbustin'-Ass Muwway).

There are three very common storylines threaded in this movie that we all know and love. Or know and hate. Either way--1) The zombie movie. Yeah, zombies have been done before. Lots of times. And unlike the absurd deluge of vampire movies going on right now, Zombieland doesn't try to make up new rules about zombies. One vampire trailer I saw had the lead laughing off a claim about turning into a bat, like that's only something you see "in movies." There's an overwhelming effort to establish identity and individuality. You don't really see that in Zombieland. They're normal zombies, right off the George Romero bloodline. But kudos to the make up team on this one. The overload they did on blood and guts and raccoon eyes actually made the movie funnier. 2) The road movie. A group of stragglers, traveling together, overcoming obstacles, reaching a destination, and once or twice along the way nearing group dissolution, but in the end having each others' backs. 3) The underdog gets the girl. Normally I am a big cheerleader for the underdog, but in this case, I actually wasn't really affected either way by Jesse Eisenberg's ("Columbus") lust for Emma Stone ("Wichita"). That's not to say the filmmakers failed with this part of the story, but I think they gave such an effort to make Eisenberg's character quirky and neurotic and obsessively sheltered that by the end of the movie, he had risen up to "normal dude" status, and not anything more redeeming. Then again, Wichita was a hustler and a liar, so it's not like he was landing the golden goose here--er, wait, she WAS presumably the last cute girl left on earth, so maybe he did.

The movie was not without flaws--too much voiceover by Eisenberg throughout (especially in the beginning) and too heavy a reliance upon Twinkies to move the plot forward, but overall was a completely worthy late-summer flick that packed just the right amount of good jokes, bad jokes, and exploding zombie skulls. Right now IMDb has it ranked as the 230th best movie, which is absurdly high and it will certainly tumble, but it did include at least one cockblocking robot-related quote to keep it on the pop culture shelf for a couple months.