#074 - Six Months South

As of February 1, it's been six months since we left Philadelphia and moved into our new place in Charlotte. Six months seems to be the first point of intersection between, "It's only been six months," and, "I can't believe how long we've been here." I think I have a weird relationship with time in that sense -- sometimes things seem equal parts very recent and quite long ago.

Charlotte's been a great place. It's amazing to think how little we knew about it before we decided to pack up our Philly life and come here, but I can say we haven't been disappointed. The winter weather has been very nice, we've had several days in the 60s and 70s even though it's January/February, and I don't mind it at all. Siobhan mentioned something about warm weather not really feeling like Christmastime, but I couldn't care less how cold or snowy it is on Christmas or any of the winter holidays. We've really enjoyed our time exploring the area. The neighborhood we live in has at least 4 breweries that I can think of within walking distance, and we go to them quite frequently. There aren't quite as many restaurants that we can walk to, but there are plenty within a short drive or Uber. (UberX rides are typically $5 - $8 to go pretty much anywhere we choose, which has been a welcome change.) And maybe I'm just buying into the cliche, but generally speaking people seem to be very friendly. Today we walked down a street we had never been on before, and a man said hello to us from across the way, and then told us how excited he is about the Panthers in the Super Bowl. The cashiers and baggers at the grocery stores we go to are always incredibly nice, and while that's a bit of a trend in the overall grocery store industry, it makes that Southern hospitality ring true.

Of course, that's not to say we don't miss home -- well, the "home" we've thought of as home for so long. The neighborhood we left in Philly will probably always stay with us as some of the best years of our lives. We miss the Schuylkill trail, and the restaurants so close by, and the dog park half a block away. Some people reading this might be like "Huh??" about the dog park, but it was a really huge part of our day. Alfie was there twice a day almost every day, and it was such a great place for us to go and unwind and see him scamper his little butt around with his friends. We made several friends at that park, people who ended up being really close, and who we were excited to go back and see when we were in town over Christmas. We just don't have that same experience here. I've taken Alfie to the dog park 5 or 6 times, and they are much bigger and dustier, much more suited for rugged outdoorsy dogs (and not our pampered little cockapoo). And the parks are a short drive away, nothing that we can walk to. Right after we moved, it was kind of embarrassing when our parents first asked us what we missed the most, because you'd think the typical answer would be friends or family. But it's the things that you don't even really think about that are probably what you end up really missing the most. Like the dog park. Or how many places we had within walking distance in Philly that we didn't have to worry about not drinking so we could drive there, or paying for an Uber to get us home. And while many of the restaurants we've been to here are very good (especially BBQ), we definitely miss a lot of the places we used to go in Philly, and finding a good pizza place has a constant struggle. (Before we ask for pizza suggestions from other people, we make sure they're from the northeast.) And frankly I have yet to eat a burger in Charlotte that measured up to four or five places I can think of in Philly. Some of that has been offset by delicious BBQ and biscuits, but for me, knowing where to get a delicious burger is almost an essential part of living. So much so that when we were home over Christmas, we went to Good Dog in the city and I nearly shed a tear over my meal of a burger and a Yards Philly Pale.

I think it's become a pretty typical thing to compare Philly and Charlotte, and of course I've done it a bunch myself and within this post, but when our families ask us, "Well, are you staying or coming back?" I don't really have a good answer. It's like two good options. When we left Philly and everything that we had there, I knew in many ways it would always be my home, and it would always be a place we could go back to if we were stuck. But Charlotte's a good option too. Charlotte's a great place if you like to be active and if you like to drink beer and if you don't necessarily mind getting in your car often. The last part I'm still working on, but there are a lot of positives to being here. We've found that making friends has kind of been an unusual experience, at least for a married couple in their late 20s/early 30s. It's a little bit like when you get to college -- you're all there for the same reasons, but you barely know anyone, so when you first start talking to someone you just kind of go, "Want to be friends?" We literally had that conversation with a couple who we met at a bar on the second or third night we were here. They were very nice, and at one point, the guy just said, "Hey are you guys in the market for friends? Because we are." We didn't really end up being friends, but the sentiment remains. In Philly, at least to me, it felt a little bit like everyone already had their own lives and their own circles. So many people here are transplants for work, and it kind of lumps you all into the same boat. A few months ago we were at a brewery (there's a common theme here) and we walked past a guy wearing an Eagles hat. I told him I liked the hat, something which is pretty common for me when I see someone sporting Eagles gear and I get excited. Two hours later, we were still sitting talking to the same people, and their story was so much like ours. We've had dinner with them twice and are in contact all the time. The more you talk to people, the more you realize this is how it goes here. And that's great. Having several good friends now has made the experience great. We've met several people in our building that have been really fun and easy to get along with. Our closest friends here live upstairs from us, and while we saw them constantly outside walking the dogs after we moved in, it never really clicked in until a chance dinner when we were both invited by a different couple. It's almost impossible for me to imagine our last six months of living here without these friends, and it all got spun into motion by a girl in the pool asking Siobhan, "Hey, are you new here? Come say hi." Very much like college -- a great college, where people aren't judgmental and cliquey. Maybe it's not like college at all.

All of that has definitely offset the sadness of being away from our friends and our family back home. As much as we like to stay home and watch movies and hang out with Alfie, we can only take so many nights of that before we go crazy. Being 500 miles away from family, it makes you want everyone to come visit constantly. But it's easy to understand how big of an undertaking that is, especially when people have their own plans and their own families and didn't expect for you to move a plane ride away. But it's hard not to be selfish. When I lived in Philly, I went through a stretch of four or five years where it seemed like I was saying good bye to all of my closest friends. First it was graduation from college, and everyone going off to their new careers or new grad schools. Then it was a bunch of people moving off to medical school, or to new jobs taking them all across the country, from one coast to another. I was so grateful to have that time with them, and so happy for them to be moving on to new opportunities, but a part of me still wished I could have everyone together in one place. Having my family nearby made it all go much smoother. I knew that I had them there, and I loved spending time with them, and there was this comfort of feeling like Philly would always be home because it's close to them. The same thing happened once I met Siobhan and her parents, and it became a part of our routine to go see them and have dinner and enjoy some time together. Now that I'm the one who left, it's weird to be on the other side. Of course I want people to come visit us, but I also want them to know that, even when we can't make it home for certain events that we would have been at if we were living there, that doesn't mean we don't think about them any less or wish we could be there any less. We knew going into this that being away from the people we cared about was a part of the package, and I think that we've grown to be okay with it.

Thank you for reading. I don't necessarily love talking about myself that much, or expressing all of my thoughts in such a way, but it's nice for me to periodically sit down and collect myself enough to write this. I don't assume anyone is clamoring to know about our lives, but I do appreciate when people are interested.