#077 - Be Selfish. Adopt a Dog.

It's been my long-held belief that a lot of the good that people do is driven by selfishness. I don't mean all of it -- parents who sacrifice their free time and their energy to work long hours and provide for their families; men and women in uniform both domestically and abroad who are wounded, traumatized, or killed in service of the greater good; or for that matter, anyone who gives their lives in defense of someone else -- we'd all agree that these things are true altruism. I'm talking about the rest of the stuff. Donating time or money, posting videos of yourself doing the latest awareness challenge, volunteering to help with a food drive or a blood drive. This is all really good stuff, and it's important that people participate, but the reason why people continue to promote this type of behavior is because it FEELS GOOD. A lot of people are wired in such a way that helping others out makes them feel great. You may think that I'm knocking this, or trying to be cynical, but I wish I could convince you that I'm not. I just think there should be a little bit more transparency about this kind of thing. People will give celebrities a lot of grief if they volunteer their hours and get some publicity about it. What should matter is not the reason behind the good deeds, but the actual good deeds that are getting done. If you're the type of person who likes to contribute to a cause and then post to Facebook about it because you want people to know that you care, then just own up to that -- but whatever you do, keep doing it. We want everyone to fit into this perfect box of humble, silent do-gooder who wants no attention for themselves and does everything out of the kindness of their own heart. It's just not feasible. We should celebrate the fact that sometimes people do really nice things because it fulfills a selfish desire they have to feel good about themselves.

So what does this have to do with dogs?

I never had a dog growing up. Few of my very close friends had dogs, so the opinion that I formulated about them was something like, "They're cool, but they are absolutely not an essential part of life." After all, I lived a pretty good life for a long time without a dog. The first time I truly connected with a dog was when I was in high school. Every time I went to my friend Shannon's house, I would try my best to get her dog Roxy to give me attention. Your standard reverse dog-human relationship. But it's a weird personality trait of mine, that I probably never would have admitted before -- I want dogs, little kids, and moms to like me. I can't explain it, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong if they don't.

Eventually it came to be that I would make a point of spending time with all of my friends' dogs. It still never really crossed my mind that I would want to have one myself, I never went begging to my dad to get a dog, it seemed like the ship on that had sailed. I was heading to college and my sisters were out of the house as well, not the ideal environment for any pet. But there was something about the expressiveness of dogs that I enjoyed. When they were happy, it was so easy to see. Even the speed of a tail-wag was noticeable, and it made me feel good to see those tails whipping back and forth.

Tino, Beezer, and Wellie

When I first met Siobhan, she had three dogs at her house. Wellie was the big, playful goof. Tino was the tiny troublemaker, always peeing on the floor and nipping at people's heels. Beezer was the snaggletoothed old grump. She and her family were real dog people, and it was nice to be around that. We talked early on about having a dog of our own, especially when we formally moved in together, but I was hesitant about leaving a dog alone all day, or always having to come back home to let it outside. I didn't want the dog's life to interfere with mine, but at the same time, I just also wasn't so sure that I would love a dog as much when it was there all the time. It's kind of like babies -- if you watch one for ten minutes, you get to hold them and make them laugh, but if you have one overnight you see the real struggles that come along with them as well. Still, we'd see dogs for adoption in the windows of local pet stores, or we'd walk past the dog park on our way home to watch them playing, and it became hard not to want one.

I was slowly coming around to the idea of us getting a dog when Siobhan decided enough was enough and pushed me over the edge. We found Alfie almost out of coincidence. We saw a dog at a community event in Ritttenhouse Square one day, and the dog was small, didn't shed, super cute, and well trained. To me, it seemed like, if any dog was a match, this was the dog. Apparently 60 other people thought so too, and we were somewhere near the end of the list. It prompted us to take a trip to the shelter at Morris Animal Refuge to see who else was available, and Siobhan took interest in a smaller sized, raggedy looking dog with cream colored fur and hair practically covering his eyes. His name was Max and he was 5 years old. The shelter told us that dogs more than a couple years old didn't do well in shelters, many people were under the impression that they were old and would die soon. But he was a mixed breed, small sized dog, who could have a very long life in a good home as long as he was cared for. I was hesitant, but the look in Siobhan's eye was powerful. It was different than holding a puppy in the pet store. Here was a dog who told us that he needed us. He had a funny habit of lifting his front paws up and stepping around on his back legs, so he could see out the window, to his favorite staff member, Herman. Herman was outside spraying down the patio, and Max just wanted to see what was going on. He seemed funny and energetic, and we couldn't walk away without signing our names to the paper.

Alfie's first night with us

His name's Alfie now, and if you know anything about me, you're very familiar with him. Just writing about that day 3 years ago is bringing tears to my eyes. He turned out to be not so energetic -- he sleeps a good 20 hours a day and doesn't even sniff the many toys we've purchased for him. And all the floppy, shaggy hair he had when we first got him has changed now that he's on a regular grooming schedule, to the point where pictures of him from his first days look wildly different to us.

It turns out I was right about some of the challenges that owning a dog brings. It's heartbreaking to leave him home alone, like we did for 7 hours a day in Philly. He would cry and bark and pee on the floor, and it caused an issue with our neighbor and our building. We put him through the wringer of every anxiety-relieving tool on the market, and they all failed, some worse than others. And we certainly had to duck out of get-togethers early to make sure he was okay, and we always have a tough time leaving him for more than a day or two at a time.

Alfie looking a bit more dapper

But what he brings to us is so much more than that, and for me, it's often framed in a way that makes me realize how much better MY LIFE is with him. When I look at him, passed out on the couch like he is a good 8 hours a day, it gives me all the warm, loving feelings. When I see him playing gently with a dog at the park or in the yard, I almost jump up and down (in part because this so rarely happens). Nobody likes to invest in hundreds of dog poop bags, but taking Alfie out for a walk 3 or 4 times a day is one of my favorite things to do, and cleaning up after him is part of the deal. Even when I have to pay hefty vet bills or hold his head while he's getting his latest round of shots, I'm reminded of how important it is to take care of him so that he can continue to bring joy to my life. Here's a dog who, 3 years ago, was confined to sleeping in a crate every night. And we can only guess what his life was like before that. Now, he has a cozy spot in the middle of a queen-sized bed pressed up against the warmth of his family. When Siobhan and I are out of town and don't have him with us, there's a hell of a lot more room in the bed, but there's also a missing 17-pound fluff ball who causes us to look at each other and say, "I hope he's having a good night."

We've made several friends specifically because we have a dog, and we've met at the dog park or out for a walk. Between Alfie and Siobhan's outgoing personality, it's made me much more comfortable talking to people I pass on the street, something that I never would have done 5 years ago. And we feel particularly bonded with our other friends who have dogs, because we can share stories and pictures together, and we get excited to go see them and spend time with their dogs, just as they are excited to see Alfie.

It doesn't just all magically happen. You don't get a dog to be an accessory, you don't get a dog just to be there when you get home from work. But if you're willing to go all in on it, and you're willing to take the steps necessary to provide a good life for your pet, the dividends that you get in return are innumerable.

Many people are judgmental about adopting dogs versus getting them from a breeder. As of right now, I know that I would strongly advocate adopting, but I try not to let my personal feelings affect how I view others. In many cases, dog breeding is a dangerous and careless practice, which leads to overrun puppy mills and females who are over-bred and kicked to the curb. But a lot of the time, breeders are incredibly careful and loving. They want to produce good dogs that people are going to love. You just have to make sure you're going to the right place. All that matters in the end is that you're treating the dog right, and you're giving it a good home.

If you're in the market, though, I would highly suggest that you take at least one trip to the shelter, just to see if there's one there that captures your attention. You can find all kinds of dogs in the shelter -- even fancy designer breeds like cockapoos. And adopting a dog from a shelter even gives you the self-esteem boost of telling people that he or she is a rescue. (But if you can, please don't. The term "rescue" is almost losing its meaning with how often people boast about it.) It's amazing the positive difference you can make by taking one of these dogs and giving it a good, loving home. And it's equally amazing the positive difference that dog can make in your life. So please, give your conscience a rest and open your mind to the possibilities of selfish behavior. Adopt a dog.

#076 - Bringing Home to our House

In 36 hours, we'll pack up our stuff and leave Charlotte, and we won't see it again until July. This has left me feeling pretty anxious, at least to the point where I'm making use of this time to write about it.

I have my moments where I still can't decide what place exactly "feels like home". There are days when I wake up and I can't believe I'm out of Philadelphia, let alone all the way in North Carolina. Charlotte doesn't necessarily have the same emotional pull for me that Philly does, even now -- but let me clarify, I mean Charlotte the city itself. The things that I have here in Charlotte are phenomenal, and I'd never be able to get by without them -- Siobhan, Alfie, our house, our friends -- but the city itself doesn't hold the same type of meaning (yet). I don't get the same excitement from seeing the skyline, or from approaching the airplane landing, as I do in Philly. It doesn't necessarily mean I want to move back. There are things here that I love and wouldn't want to leave, like Siobhan's job that she's become very invested in, the neighborhood that we live in and the future growth that is going to happen, the fact that we were able to buy a great house for an affordable price with a nice backyard, our growing dog sitting business, the warmth and lack of snow shoveling, and my growing comfort with managing my time while working at home. It's all great, and I would say that it's been an awesome experience, but honestly, I think the "experience" ended after about 6 months, and now it's just life.

So it was definitely a welcome sight this past month to have so many family members come down and visit us in our new home. My mom scheduled a visit for the weekend after we moved in, which was awesome because it was the first time she had come to see us and she didn't have to stay in our frat-party apartment building. At first I was worried that we would still be in the process of moving and our house would be a wreck, but it was actually great timing because we moved in fairly quickly and she was able to be here to help us settle in a little bit and put some home-y touches on.

Two weeks later, my sister Ashley flew down for a work event, which is just a crazy coincidence because Charlotte's the only place outside of Philadelphia that her job operates. It was a little bit bittersweet for her I'm sure because she was here on Mother's Day away from her kids, but it was awesome to hang out with her in some beautiful weather, sitting outside at the brewery with a break from being a mom. Thankfully by this time we had all our cable and internet set up so I didn't have to drive back to the apartment during the day to work, but unfortunately this was when our air conditioning decided to stop working. We had it assessed through our home warranty and they determined it needed a new evaporator coil, which I assumed would only take a few days to replace (uh huh, try three weeks). I was a bit concerned that we were going to be welcoming in my sister to our sweltering house and she wouldn't be able to sleep the night before her work event, but luckily it wasn't terribly hot and I rented a couple window A/C units to keep it comfortable. She was kind enough to invite us out to the charity fundraiser dinner she coordinated the next day at a nearby Country Club, which was quite an experience -- turns out the wealthy, successful and generous can tell a good story or two. I'd like to give them a quick plug right now, not for any reason except that I think what they do is great and not pretentious or self-serving in any way, and also my sister is the steady locomotive that keeps the operation running and I'm incredibly proud of her. It's called Michael's Way and they help fund out of pocket expenses for families of sick children: http://www.michaelsway.org/

With the daily cycle of working and living your own lives, and with the help of technology like FaceTime, it's easy sometimes to forget that I'm 500 miles from my family. It's not as if I'd be seeing them on a random Thursday anyway, but when Ashley was leaving to head back home and I was dropping her off at the airport, it definitely hit me that now she has to take a flight down to see us, when previously we were only a half hour drive away. In other ways, though, it made me proud to be able to have her here and show her around, give her a little bit of our experience of living here. Since I've really become an "adult", I've always looked up to my sisters to give me a little bit of guidance as far as how things are supposed to be done. It was nice to show her that, even though we love and miss everyone up in PA, we're doing pretty well here and are very happy with what we have.

A week or so after that, Siobhan's parents came down to visit us and see us in the new house. I would say that I'm lucky to have the in-laws that I have -- I'm not sure if lucky is the right word exactly, but I think it's close. I love Siobhan and I was thrilled to be able to marry her. To have such a great relationship with her parents is really just an added bonus and not something I could have had any control over. I get just as excited for them to come visit as I do for my own parents. I enjoy that they have similar interests to us -- when they visit us, they like to go out and appreciate a good meal and good drinks, they're happy to take Alfie (and whatever guest pups we have) out for walks and don't mind when one of them jumps into bed, and we usually end every night by getting furiously bitter with one another playing euchre. They're also incredibly helpful around the house, which came in handy this time because I was about to rip my hair out trying to fix an issue with our washing machine and Rob went out of his way to find a solution for me.

While they were here, we decided to have a little housewarming party with our Charlotte friends, which was a good time. It really gave us a chance to have a bunch of people coming into OUR home, and it was a great feeling to see people having a good time. It wouldn't have been the same experience without the help of Rob and Philis, who are vets at the dinner party game. I was grateful to have them here helping, just as I'm grateful that they play such a big role in my life.

As we prepare to pack up and head back, I'm wondering how it's going to feel seeing our old city and visiting our old neighborhoods now that we own a house here in Charlotte. I have a little bit of a weird psychological response to going back to my old houses -- even this past month, when I had to go back to our apartment building in South End, I was struck when I saw how many people were still there, even people newly moving in. Some part of my brain feels like, if I'm moving away from a place, that means EVERYONE is moving away from it. Of course I know that the places we've left are still perfectly good places to live, but it's just a knee jerk reaction that I can't believe other people are still there. So I'm curious to see what type of reaction I'll have to heading back to Philly. I'm excited to see our friends and family that we haven't seen for six months, but it's definitely bittersweet to be leaving our new home for so long. We're going to miss our bed, miss our deck and our yard, miss the neighbors on our street that have become such good friends in a short time. But it's a necessary trip, combining several family get-togethers, weddings, and outings with friends all in one. Not quite a vacation as I will still be working pretty much every day, and Siobhan will be taking a week to go for a school training in Colorado. It'll be invaluable to get this much quality time with our families, and we're looking forward to hitting some of our favorite restaurants in the city, but I'm a little nervous about waking up every day and wondering how things are going down here, crossing my fingers that there are no problems, and missing the comforts of the place that we've come to call our home.

#075 - Joys of Homeownership

So, to steal from John Oliver, just time for a quick recap of the week:

We bought a house.

It's a solid little Craftsman-style 3 bed / 2 bath place in a neighborhood called Villa Heights just outside of Uptown Charlotte. And it's great. I can say I never would have expected that we'd be buying a house 8 months after moving here, but this whole thing just kind of took off and we lucked into a great house right within our budget.

So, with that good news taken care of front and center, I will say the whole home-buying process has led me into some interesting thought processes. Bear with me.

I've had a pretty easy life.

In no way do I mean this to be self-congratulatory, because I genuinely believe most of these things to be the benefit of existential good luck. I was born in a first-world country. My parents worked hard and provided everything I needed as a child. I was raised in a safe neighborhood in a great suburban town. I don't know how difficult it is to go without necessities. I grew to be 6-foot-5 despite the fact that my parents are 5-foot-9. I lived in a town with a great school system. I graduated in the top 10 in my high school class, and I got PLENTY of sleep. I got into every college I ever applied to, even when those more deserving were left out. My first and only full-time job was a benefit of having a friend who gave her boss my name. And even then, I only got the job because my best friend couldn't take it. I've never been punched in the face. In fact, I could probably say I've never really been punched, period. I've never broken a bone or torn a ligament. The only fracture I've had was in my pinkie -- my LEFT pinkie. The only woman I ever asked to marry me said yes. And, even though I'm convinced it will happen every single time, I have yet to be in a plane crash.

I realize I'm invoking every possible jinx there is by saying all of this, but I do appreciate the good fortune I've had throughout my life. Normally stress is not something I even think about. I have it good, why should I be stressed? I say all of this now, because as I've been dealing with the difficulties of buying a house and moving in the last month, I've come to realize that it's the most stress I've ever been under for an extended period of time -- in my life.

I've kind of made a mountain out of a ... pitcher's mound? ... with this whole process, and I'm realizing it now. It's not that moving has been hard or that we ran into issues with our mortgage or anything, it's just been a constant stream of one thing after another that I've felt I needed to take care of immediately or suffer the consequences. We needed to secure a mortgage at the best rate possible, so I tackled that goal. We needed to find someone willing to take over our lease at our apartment, which turned into a terribly long process with several people showing interest and then backing out at the last minute. Until finally we found someone, who disappeared and stopped contacting me for a week. Even as I write this, I'm still only about 90% sure that they're going to take it, despite the fact that they've signed all the paperwork. I'm a person who has almost no issue spending a lot of money in tiny chunks, but when it comes to losing a whole month's rent on an apartment that we don't need, it makes me irrationally angry. Once that was done, we needed to pack and move. And we wanted the house cleaned ahead of time, which went smoothly. And we wanted all our services initiated before moving in -- water, gas, electric, internet. The gas company informed us of an unsafe condition on our stove that was never mentioned, so we had someone come out and fix it. The internet is still not on, despite me calling every day this week and being told, "All you need to wait for is someone to come by your house and turn the switch on outside." Amazingly, that process can take up to 5 days. It's not as if I work from home and need internet to do my job or anything. Then we had some electricians come to the house to put in some lights and network some cables, which took the better part of 11 hours, when they estimated it'd take 6. Which meant Siobhan and I waited around the house, holding Alfie on a leash so he wouldn't bother them, sitting and hearing them gripe about how difficult the job had become. All the while, we were getting used to living in a new house in a different neighborhood -- one that is definitely in a transition and causes me to get out of bed and check the locks twice before I go to sleep.

I'm sure all of these things are standard parts of being a homeowner. Anyone who reads this probably has several horror stories that go way deeper and might have made me break down in tears. But that kind of goes back to my first point, that I'm really not used to things like this, and I'm amazed that so many people choose to take on this task. I know that it'll be well worth it, hopefully as soon as tomorrow, when we'll be able to sit back in our house with all the initial fixes done, and just enjoy the fact that we now own this tiny piece of Charlotte. For right now, I'm just looking forward to that time.

Now that I've taken some time to reflect on it, I'm able to put all of these things into perspective in a better way, but for the last three weeks, not so much. I had a difficult time not taking the blame for every hiccup along the way. It made me feel like I was not prepared in the right way, or I was expecting too much of other people. One of the things that locks up my gut is the idea that my choices might be ruining someone else's day, and even more so when that person is my wife. At some point, she sat me down to tell me that I had been ignoring all of her ideas about the house and focusing solely on my own. She was right. I batted away every suggestion she had as if it wasn't important. That's a crummy way to treat any person, and an awful way to treat the most important person in your life. I had given more compassion to the contractors who I was paying a handsome rate.

When we first got engaged, we spoke with a pre-marital counselor, who we had chosen to be our officiant. In those discussions, one of the continual thoughts my wife had was that we needed to constantly work to make our marriage better. At the time, it seemed silly. We were so excited just to be together, how could we ever not be on the same page? Well, here's the answer. I ended up on a different page from her not because I sat down and decided to, but because I was simply barreling down my own path, clearing everything else in my way. That's where constant work comes in -- how can I stop myself from doing this the next time?

In some ways, I'm grateful for this experience, and the challenges that have come with it. I've learned a lot, and hopefully I've developed a little bit better stress management, though that's something I would prefer not to test any time soon. Even after all of that, I'm again struck by how fortunate I've been. Every time something came up, there was always someone I could talk to to help resolve the situation. I'm never on my own, even when I feel like I'm on my own. So thank you, to everyone, for that. It's pretty cool to know so many good people.

Now if you'll excuse me, I probably have to call my internet provider again, I haven't yet today.

#074 - Six Months South

As of February 1, it's been six months since we left Philadelphia and moved into our new place in Charlotte. Six months seems to be the first point of intersection between, "It's only been six months," and, "I can't believe how long we've been here." I think I have a weird relationship with time in that sense -- sometimes things seem equal parts very recent and quite long ago.

Charlotte's been a great place. It's amazing to think how little we knew about it before we decided to pack up our Philly life and come here, but I can say we haven't been disappointed. The winter weather has been very nice, we've had several days in the 60s and 70s even though it's January/February, and I don't mind it at all. Siobhan mentioned something about warm weather not really feeling like Christmastime, but I couldn't care less how cold or snowy it is on Christmas or any of the winter holidays. We've really enjoyed our time exploring the area. The neighborhood we live in has at least 4 breweries that I can think of within walking distance, and we go to them quite frequently. There aren't quite as many restaurants that we can walk to, but there are plenty within a short drive or Uber. (UberX rides are typically $5 - $8 to go pretty much anywhere we choose, which has been a welcome change.) And maybe I'm just buying into the cliche, but generally speaking people seem to be very friendly. Today we walked down a street we had never been on before, and a man said hello to us from across the way, and then told us how excited he is about the Panthers in the Super Bowl. The cashiers and baggers at the grocery stores we go to are always incredibly nice, and while that's a bit of a trend in the overall grocery store industry, it makes that Southern hospitality ring true.

Of course, that's not to say we don't miss home -- well, the "home" we've thought of as home for so long. The neighborhood we left in Philly will probably always stay with us as some of the best years of our lives. We miss the Schuylkill trail, and the restaurants so close by, and the dog park half a block away. Some people reading this might be like "Huh??" about the dog park, but it was a really huge part of our day. Alfie was there twice a day almost every day, and it was such a great place for us to go and unwind and see him scamper his little butt around with his friends. We made several friends at that park, people who ended up being really close, and who we were excited to go back and see when we were in town over Christmas. We just don't have that same experience here. I've taken Alfie to the dog park 5 or 6 times, and they are much bigger and dustier, much more suited for rugged outdoorsy dogs (and not our pampered little cockapoo). And the parks are a short drive away, nothing that we can walk to. Right after we moved, it was kind of embarrassing when our parents first asked us what we missed the most, because you'd think the typical answer would be friends or family. But it's the things that you don't even really think about that are probably what you end up really missing the most. Like the dog park. Or how many places we had within walking distance in Philly that we didn't have to worry about not drinking so we could drive there, or paying for an Uber to get us home. And while many of the restaurants we've been to here are very good (especially BBQ), we definitely miss a lot of the places we used to go in Philly, and finding a good pizza place has a constant struggle. (Before we ask for pizza suggestions from other people, we make sure they're from the northeast.) And frankly I have yet to eat a burger in Charlotte that measured up to four or five places I can think of in Philly. Some of that has been offset by delicious BBQ and biscuits, but for me, knowing where to get a delicious burger is almost an essential part of living. So much so that when we were home over Christmas, we went to Good Dog in the city and I nearly shed a tear over my meal of a burger and a Yards Philly Pale.

I think it's become a pretty typical thing to compare Philly and Charlotte, and of course I've done it a bunch myself and within this post, but when our families ask us, "Well, are you staying or coming back?" I don't really have a good answer. It's like two good options. When we left Philly and everything that we had there, I knew in many ways it would always be my home, and it would always be a place we could go back to if we were stuck. But Charlotte's a good option too. Charlotte's a great place if you like to be active and if you like to drink beer and if you don't necessarily mind getting in your car often. The last part I'm still working on, but there are a lot of positives to being here. We've found that making friends has kind of been an unusual experience, at least for a married couple in their late 20s/early 30s. It's a little bit like when you get to college -- you're all there for the same reasons, but you barely know anyone, so when you first start talking to someone you just kind of go, "Want to be friends?" We literally had that conversation with a couple who we met at a bar on the second or third night we were here. They were very nice, and at one point, the guy just said, "Hey are you guys in the market for friends? Because we are." We didn't really end up being friends, but the sentiment remains. In Philly, at least to me, it felt a little bit like everyone already had their own lives and their own circles. So many people here are transplants for work, and it kind of lumps you all into the same boat. A few months ago we were at a brewery (there's a common theme here) and we walked past a guy wearing an Eagles hat. I told him I liked the hat, something which is pretty common for me when I see someone sporting Eagles gear and I get excited. Two hours later, we were still sitting talking to the same people, and their story was so much like ours. We've had dinner with them twice and are in contact all the time. The more you talk to people, the more you realize this is how it goes here. And that's great. Having several good friends now has made the experience great. We've met several people in our building that have been really fun and easy to get along with. Our closest friends here live upstairs from us, and while we saw them constantly outside walking the dogs after we moved in, it never really clicked in until a chance dinner when we were both invited by a different couple. It's almost impossible for me to imagine our last six months of living here without these friends, and it all got spun into motion by a girl in the pool asking Siobhan, "Hey, are you new here? Come say hi." Very much like college -- a great college, where people aren't judgmental and cliquey. Maybe it's not like college at all.

All of that has definitely offset the sadness of being away from our friends and our family back home. As much as we like to stay home and watch movies and hang out with Alfie, we can only take so many nights of that before we go crazy. Being 500 miles away from family, it makes you want everyone to come visit constantly. But it's easy to understand how big of an undertaking that is, especially when people have their own plans and their own families and didn't expect for you to move a plane ride away. But it's hard not to be selfish. When I lived in Philly, I went through a stretch of four or five years where it seemed like I was saying good bye to all of my closest friends. First it was graduation from college, and everyone going off to their new careers or new grad schools. Then it was a bunch of people moving off to medical school, or to new jobs taking them all across the country, from one coast to another. I was so grateful to have that time with them, and so happy for them to be moving on to new opportunities, but a part of me still wished I could have everyone together in one place. Having my family nearby made it all go much smoother. I knew that I had them there, and I loved spending time with them, and there was this comfort of feeling like Philly would always be home because it's close to them. The same thing happened once I met Siobhan and her parents, and it became a part of our routine to go see them and have dinner and enjoy some time together. Now that I'm the one who left, it's weird to be on the other side. Of course I want people to come visit us, but I also want them to know that, even when we can't make it home for certain events that we would have been at if we were living there, that doesn't mean we don't think about them any less or wish we could be there any less. We knew going into this that being away from the people we cared about was a part of the package, and I think that we've grown to be okay with it.

Thank you for reading. I don't necessarily love talking about myself that much, or expressing all of my thoughts in such a way, but it's nice for me to periodically sit down and collect myself enough to write this. I don't assume anyone is clamoring to know about our lives, but I do appreciate when people are interested.