#012 - *Handsful (see #011)

I chose the word "Handsful" in the previous post about The Brothers Bloom, then turned to ask Dan (of this fame) if he thought it would be inappropriate to use that word. He then informed me that I knew nothing of the English language, that he believed I resembled a familiar pack animal, and that he had intimate knowledge of my mother. After I was done wiping my eyes, he apologized and offered a solid suggestion--that I should just use whatever word I wanted to use, and then tell people that I knew it was wrong, but that I wanted to do it my way anyway.

It's not common, but I've definitely heard people use phrases like, "I have two brother-in-laws." Well, I'm not a fan of this. You have two brothers-in-law. It's noun-descriptor agreement. And I feel like this is a similar case, with the word "handfuls".

Argument 1: A "handful" is an amount. Designated with a word in the dictionary. To pluralize a single amount, you pluralize the entire word. One tablespoon, two tablespoons. One handful, two handfuls.

My comeback: Whenever this word was invented, it was most likely in this manner--Grab one hand full of flour and mix. How much? One hand full. What if I want to double the recipe? Well then you grab TWO hands full. Two handsful. The reason I would not want to pluralize the word "full" is that it's an adjective. For a word like "armlength" though, I would pluralize it. Two armlengths. Why? Because the length of the arm can be doubled. The full of the hand can't be doubled, that doesn't even make sense.

Argument 2: Don't be such a snob. You're no better than anyone else, you use incorrect speech all the time as well. (Not that handfuls is incorrect. The hole grows deeper.)

My comeback: I live in a green apartment. I painted everything green. The windows are green, the refrigerator is green, the carpet is green (though I bought that, not paint), the walls are green, my bookshelf is green, all of my clothing is green and even my eyelids are painted green so when i go to sleep I disappear into my green bed. What color are the stairs? Now see, you don't even remember what we were arguing about.