#079 - Was it Father's Day?

This past Sunday was Father's Day, and it put me in a little bit of an unusual position. I understand we have a baby on the way, and Siobhan was very sweet and got me a couple nice gifts to celebrate, but I have a tough time really accepting any kind of recognition at this point. She dismissed me when I said I don't think it's really Father's Day for me, but I just feel like she's the one doing all the heavy lifting so far (and none of the heavy lifting, doctors). For the most part, my job has just been to be a supportive husband moreso than father. I'm looking out for her, and she's consciously and subconsciously looking out for the baby. She's more than deserving of Mother's Day praise, having to deal with morning sickness, colds that can only be treated with the most basic of medicine, heartburn and indigestion, sore legs, feet and back, and not being able to sleep comfortably. Sure, my sleep has been slightly impacted by the refrigerator-sized pillow that she uses to support herself, but that's not a bad trade-off for dads. Besides, if the pillow wasn't there, it would be replaced by a dog-sized dog (or two, or three).

All of that said, it was another step along the way of having others -- and more importantly, myself -- acknowledge that, hey, in a few more months, I will actually be a father, and I'll have a lot more responsibility than I do now.

I also want to take a brief moment and say that I've been blown away by all the gifts that are coming in from the baby shower, which is coming up in a few weeks. They've started to arrive at home -- which is awesome because then we won't have to drive them back from New Jersey -- and just how generous and thoughtful people have been is kind of overwhelming. I think it's pretty easy to get jaded about these things, giving gifts at weddings and baby showers and all of that. But when you're in a position like we are, and we're 500 miles from our family and about to welcome a baby into a home without anything that we need for it, it can be kind of daunting to think of all the stuff we're going to have to get. And to have friends and family pitch in and offer to help out, it's pretty awesome to watch that happen.

At this stage of the pregnancy, we've begun to start planning real things instead of just talking hypotheticals. All of our sets of parents are scheduling their first trips down to see the baby right now, so we know there's going to be no shortage of helping hands during the first month or two of Baby Koch's life. (We still aren't finding out if it's a boy or a girl, so sometimes it's hard to keep saying "it" when you want to say "he" or "she". If you catch me saying one or the other, it doesn't mean anything, I promise.) We also know that we've got a trip up to Philadelphia in early/mid October for my brother's wedding, and we've had several people tell us that is an ambitious trip that early. But it's nice to have this stuff planned out, have a chance to bring the baby up to see our families, instead of having them all to come down here.

One of the other big things we talk about is the relationship Siobhan and I have together. I'm so thankful that we have a really great and happy marriage, but we don't have any misconceptions about how difficult this might be for us. Not because we're prone to getting into arguments or disagreements, but purely on the basis of us getting tired, sleep deprived and frustrated. So when we talk about our future and all the positive things, we try to balance it out by making sure we are aware that we need to work together to make the most of this.

It makes me a little bit scared. Perhaps it's just anxiety running itself out, but just the idea that things could be difficult between Siobhan and me after all of this is worrisome. But that's the benefit of having these discussions now, and even something like me writing this out. We've got the next two and a half months to build an even stronger foundation that we know is going to support us even when we get tired and cranky and aggravated.

The other big thing we talk about are names, even though I've been happily on the record as NOT interested in discussing names. It's annoying to Siobhan that I won't commit to picking a name now, and I get that. She wants to narrow it down -- and we have definitely narrowed it down to some extent -- but for whatever reason it just makes me uncomfortable. Part of it is that I don't want to become fixed on a name, and then have two more months to hear it used in other places and change my mind. The other part of it is just that we've put so much focus on the baby staying healthy, getting stronger and bigger, and Siobhan staying healthy, that I just like thinking about that and not about what we're going to name it.

We do have a few names in mind, though. Good names. Hopefully not too trendy or too unusual. Please don't ask us about them, though. And don't guess just to see if we react. For now, it's Baby Koch, or Speck, or Little Bud (shout out Master of None).

#078 - Small Addition, Big Change

In September, our lives are going to change. We're welcoming a baby into the family.

How much our lives will change is the big question, and something I've been struggling with personally, as well as discussing at length with Siobhan.

The past year has been an interesting process, and one that I wouldn't take back -- no matter how difficult it was at times. It's very hard to know when you're ready to have kids. I would say I still don't fully know, but I trust my wife and I trust myself, and I know that we're going to do the right thing when that baby opens its eyes for the first time. Last January, Siobhan and I decided we were ready. Or at least, we thought we'd be ready after the baby cooked for 9 months. So we went for it. It was a little bit of a roller coaster, much more so for Siobhan than it was for me, but of course she's the most important thing I have, and I need her to be by my side, so it affected me too.

First, she dealt with some complications getting off of birth control. It's never been fully determined what went wrong there, but it took her 3-4 months before she was able to ovulate regularly after getting off of birth control. In the meantime, she dealt with a scare of cysts and the fear that her ovulation was never going to happen naturally. Luckily, with the help of her doctor, everything got better after those first 4 months.

But still, we had no baby. I'm not an expert on how long it usually takes, but we've heard all kinds of stories from those around us as far as how long it took them. Some it took a year, some it took a week. We've heard of friends who determined that they were unable to have kids naturally, so they adopted, only to end up pregnant after all. Our bodies -- particularly women's bodies -- do some truly amazing things, and it's something I don't think about and appreciate as often as I should.

This past September, something happened. We found out that Siobhan had actually gotten pregnant, under the worst of circumstances. We only found out once the baby had already been lost. It's hard to describe what that feels like. We don't even fully know how long it had lasted, maybe a few weeks, but for a couple trying to have a child, it was a shock to have the first positive test be a bad thing. My heart broke for Siobhan, because she was devastated. I tried to hold it together a little bit, and I told her that I believed when it was going to happen, it was going to be at the right time. It was insensitive, given what she had just gone through. As the husband you're put in a much easier position, and I wasn't aware enough of what was going through her mind. This is definitely one case where, as men, we truly don't understand.

Siobhan's reaction to the miscarriage was pretty astonishing. She was upset, and rightly so, but after a few days, she had renewed excitement. At least we had proof that it worked, even for a short time. She's made an effort (and I have as well) to not be ashamed or embarrassed about what happened. Miscarriages are always dealt with in a hush-hush way, which is understandable given how sensitive of a topic it is, but at the same time, they happen. After going through that experience, I feel strongly that no woman should feel ashamed or held responsible for losing a child. It is not a reflection of you, in any way. So many things have to go right for people to conceive, so if something goes wrong, it can't be controlled. (I should say that many of our friends have shared with us their personal stories, each one a little more devastating than the last, especially after several weeks or months of pregnancy. For us to be where we are now, having had a few ultrasounds and getting to actually see the little Koch, I can only imagine a fraction of what that must feel like.)

At this point, I'm going to make a quick tangent to address something that happened between Siobhan and me. In the couple months after the miscarriage, Siobhan internalized a lot of the concerns and problems she was having. She was upset that it was taking so long, and she thought that it was somehow her fault, physically. I can understand why she didn't tell me these things, because they're upsetting to talk about, and she didn't want to make me feel worse. But to any women out there trying with their own partners, I just want to say that I think you should open up. For those of us on my side of things, ALL we want is to know what you're thinking, what you're feeling, whether you're excited about it, or nervous; whether you're ready to carry a child or if you want to wait longer; all of that. Eventually she and I talked it out, and at least from my perspective, I think it was a good thing.

So, a few months after that, everything lined up right and the little zygote found its place, and on New Year's Eve, we found out for real.

It's been a fun time since then. We told our parents, and a couple weeks later our sisters and brothers. We told our close friends and the people we see regularly -- many of our friends who lit the path towards parenthood ahead of us, and to whom we are indebted for their support. We've had a couple ultrasounds and seen the baby's arms and legs and future gymnastic skills. We creepily ogle at parents on the sidewalks and in restaurants who are using interesting looking harnesses, or pushing strollers that we're interested in trying out. We started mapping out how we're going to move all our furniture around, and had a new closet put into the house so we didn't push it off until September.

I think right now is the fun stage. Siobhan has just the tiniest little belly (and she told me to write this ASAP because she's worried it's going to start showing in all her instagram photos -- this is 2017, folks) and even though we've seen the baby through the ultrasound, it still seems far enough away that we shouldn't start getting anxious.

But at some point, we're going to be there. It's going to be a couple weeks away, and we're going to say to ourselves, "How did this happen so fast??!" I've been grateful, in many ways, to have had this last year. I know it might sound odd to say, considering how stressful it was, and how many things we dealt with that were upsetting. Maybe Siobhan would tell you different, because her body was going through a lot. But the end result is that we got through those things. And we're not heroes here, I'm not suggesting we overcame the greatest challenges known to man. I'm just saying, we were faced with some pretty difficult things after having what had been a pretty awesome few years. And we got through them. And we learned a lot about ourselves and about each other, and hopefully prepared ourselves better for the discussions that are going to come for the next 20, 30, 40 years.

Also, we got to enjoy the last year of just us. I was a little bit leery of buying a house and trying to have a baby in such quick succession, mostly because I make things out to be financial decisions when they're more than just that. But we did get to experience both the joys and frustrations of owning a home, in our new (or not-so-new anymore) home town. We had family and friends visit, we took trips just the two of us (okay okay, you know us too well -- we took Alfie too), and Siobhan was able to accomplish a hell of a lot at her school, even through the stress she was dealing with at home.

Even after that baby arrives, we're going to make an effort to still be the same people. I say make an effort because almost everyone warns us it's quite hard to accomplish. We love being outside and being active, and even though that means we'll probably have to coordinate our schedules or buy a really good jogging stroller, we want to keep doing that. We want to love Alfie just as much, if not more, than we already do. We want to be involved in our neighborhood, which is developing very fast and bound to go in some interesting directions. We still want to eat some good food, even if it means becoming much more familiar with take-out. It's going to be difficult to maintain all these things, but it's important to stay well rounded as people to help us be better parents.

Lastly, I will just say that, we have had some of the best role models in this process to look towards. Some of the greatest people we know have become parents in the last few years, and it is truly invaluable to be able to look to them, the things they've done, to help us shape the future we see for ourselves. So thank you.

TL;DR: Baby is due September 9th. We're not finding out the sex. (Or I might, but I won't tell.)

#077 - Be Selfish. Adopt a Dog.

It's been my long-held belief that a lot of the good that people do is driven by selfishness. I don't mean all of it -- parents who sacrifice their free time and their energy to work long hours and provide for their families; men and women in uniform both domestically and abroad who are wounded, traumatized, or killed in service of the greater good; or for that matter, anyone who gives their lives in defense of someone else -- we'd all agree that these things are true altruism. I'm talking about the rest of the stuff. Donating time or money, posting videos of yourself doing the latest awareness challenge, volunteering to help with a food drive or a blood drive. This is all really good stuff, and it's important that people participate, but the reason why people continue to promote this type of behavior is because it FEELS GOOD. A lot of people are wired in such a way that helping others out makes them feel great. You may think that I'm knocking this, or trying to be cynical, but I wish I could convince you that I'm not. I just think there should be a little bit more transparency about this kind of thing. People will give celebrities a lot of grief if they volunteer their hours and get some publicity about it. What should matter is not the reason behind the good deeds, but the actual good deeds that are getting done. If you're the type of person who likes to contribute to a cause and then post to Facebook about it because you want people to know that you care, then just own up to that -- but whatever you do, keep doing it. We want everyone to fit into this perfect box of humble, silent do-gooder who wants no attention for themselves and does everything out of the kindness of their own heart. It's just not feasible. We should celebrate the fact that sometimes people do really nice things because it fulfills a selfish desire they have to feel good about themselves.

So what does this have to do with dogs?

I never had a dog growing up. Few of my very close friends had dogs, so the opinion that I formulated about them was something like, "They're cool, but they are absolutely not an essential part of life." After all, I lived a pretty good life for a long time without a dog. The first time I truly connected with a dog was when I was in high school. Every time I went to my friend Shannon's house, I would try my best to get her dog Roxy to give me attention. Your standard reverse dog-human relationship. But it's a weird personality trait of mine, that I probably never would have admitted before -- I want dogs, little kids, and moms to like me. I can't explain it, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong if they don't.

Eventually it came to be that I would make a point of spending time with all of my friends' dogs. It still never really crossed my mind that I would want to have one myself, I never went begging to my dad to get a dog, it seemed like the ship on that had sailed. I was heading to college and my sisters were out of the house as well, not the ideal environment for any pet. But there was something about the expressiveness of dogs that I enjoyed. When they were happy, it was so easy to see. Even the speed of a tail-wag was noticeable, and it made me feel good to see those tails whipping back and forth.

Tino, Beezer, and Wellie

When I first met Siobhan, she had three dogs at her house. Wellie was the big, playful goof. Tino was the tiny troublemaker, always peeing on the floor and nipping at people's heels. Beezer was the snaggletoothed old grump. She and her family were real dog people, and it was nice to be around that. We talked early on about having a dog of our own, especially when we formally moved in together, but I was hesitant about leaving a dog alone all day, or always having to come back home to let it outside. I didn't want the dog's life to interfere with mine, but at the same time, I just also wasn't so sure that I would love a dog as much when it was there all the time. It's kind of like babies -- if you watch one for ten minutes, you get to hold them and make them laugh, but if you have one overnight you see the real struggles that come along with them as well. Still, we'd see dogs for adoption in the windows of local pet stores, or we'd walk past the dog park on our way home to watch them playing, and it became hard not to want one.

I was slowly coming around to the idea of us getting a dog when Siobhan decided enough was enough and pushed me over the edge. We found Alfie almost out of coincidence. We saw a dog at a community event in Ritttenhouse Square one day, and the dog was small, didn't shed, super cute, and well trained. To me, it seemed like, if any dog was a match, this was the dog. Apparently 60 other people thought so too, and we were somewhere near the end of the list. It prompted us to take a trip to the shelter at Morris Animal Refuge to see who else was available, and Siobhan took interest in a smaller sized, raggedy looking dog with cream colored fur and hair practically covering his eyes. His name was Max and he was 5 years old. The shelter told us that dogs more than a couple years old didn't do well in shelters, many people were under the impression that they were old and would die soon. But he was a mixed breed, small sized dog, who could have a very long life in a good home as long as he was cared for. I was hesitant, but the look in Siobhan's eye was powerful. It was different than holding a puppy in the pet store. Here was a dog who told us that he needed us. He had a funny habit of lifting his front paws up and stepping around on his back legs, so he could see out the window, to his favorite staff member, Herman. Herman was outside spraying down the patio, and Max just wanted to see what was going on. He seemed funny and energetic, and we couldn't walk away without signing our names to the paper.

Alfie's first night with us

His name's Alfie now, and if you know anything about me, you're very familiar with him. Just writing about that day 3 years ago is bringing tears to my eyes. He turned out to be not so energetic -- he sleeps a good 20 hours a day and doesn't even sniff the many toys we've purchased for him. And all the floppy, shaggy hair he had when we first got him has changed now that he's on a regular grooming schedule, to the point where pictures of him from his first days look wildly different to us.

It turns out I was right about some of the challenges that owning a dog brings. It's heartbreaking to leave him home alone, like we did for 7 hours a day in Philly. He would cry and bark and pee on the floor, and it caused an issue with our neighbor and our building. We put him through the wringer of every anxiety-relieving tool on the market, and they all failed, some worse than others. And we certainly had to duck out of get-togethers early to make sure he was okay, and we always have a tough time leaving him for more than a day or two at a time.

Alfie looking a bit more dapper

But what he brings to us is so much more than that, and for me, it's often framed in a way that makes me realize how much better MY LIFE is with him. When I look at him, passed out on the couch like he is a good 8 hours a day, it gives me all the warm, loving feelings. When I see him playing gently with a dog at the park or in the yard, I almost jump up and down (in part because this so rarely happens). Nobody likes to invest in hundreds of dog poop bags, but taking Alfie out for a walk 3 or 4 times a day is one of my favorite things to do, and cleaning up after him is part of the deal. Even when I have to pay hefty vet bills or hold his head while he's getting his latest round of shots, I'm reminded of how important it is to take care of him so that he can continue to bring joy to my life. Here's a dog who, 3 years ago, was confined to sleeping in a crate every night. And we can only guess what his life was like before that. Now, he has a cozy spot in the middle of a queen-sized bed pressed up against the warmth of his family. When Siobhan and I are out of town and don't have him with us, there's a hell of a lot more room in the bed, but there's also a missing 17-pound fluff ball who causes us to look at each other and say, "I hope he's having a good night."

We've made several friends specifically because we have a dog, and we've met at the dog park or out for a walk. Between Alfie and Siobhan's outgoing personality, it's made me much more comfortable talking to people I pass on the street, something that I never would have done 5 years ago. And we feel particularly bonded with our other friends who have dogs, because we can share stories and pictures together, and we get excited to go see them and spend time with their dogs, just as they are excited to see Alfie.

It doesn't just all magically happen. You don't get a dog to be an accessory, you don't get a dog just to be there when you get home from work. But if you're willing to go all in on it, and you're willing to take the steps necessary to provide a good life for your pet, the dividends that you get in return are innumerable.

Many people are judgmental about adopting dogs versus getting them from a breeder. As of right now, I know that I would strongly advocate adopting, but I try not to let my personal feelings affect how I view others. In many cases, dog breeding is a dangerous and careless practice, which leads to overrun puppy mills and females who are over-bred and kicked to the curb. But a lot of the time, breeders are incredibly careful and loving. They want to produce good dogs that people are going to love. You just have to make sure you're going to the right place. All that matters in the end is that you're treating the dog right, and you're giving it a good home.

If you're in the market, though, I would highly suggest that you take at least one trip to the shelter, just to see if there's one there that captures your attention. You can find all kinds of dogs in the shelter -- even fancy designer breeds like cockapoos. And adopting a dog from a shelter even gives you the self-esteem boost of telling people that he or she is a rescue. (But if you can, please don't. The term "rescue" is almost losing its meaning with how often people boast about it.) It's amazing the positive difference you can make by taking one of these dogs and giving it a good, loving home. And it's equally amazing the positive difference that dog can make in your life. So please, give your conscience a rest and open your mind to the possibilities of selfish behavior. Adopt a dog.

#076 - Bringing Home to our House

In 36 hours, we'll pack up our stuff and leave Charlotte, and we won't see it again until July. This has left me feeling pretty anxious, at least to the point where I'm making use of this time to write about it.

I have my moments where I still can't decide what place exactly "feels like home". There are days when I wake up and I can't believe I'm out of Philadelphia, let alone all the way in North Carolina. Charlotte doesn't necessarily have the same emotional pull for me that Philly does, even now -- but let me clarify, I mean Charlotte the city itself. The things that I have here in Charlotte are phenomenal, and I'd never be able to get by without them -- Siobhan, Alfie, our house, our friends -- but the city itself doesn't hold the same type of meaning (yet). I don't get the same excitement from seeing the skyline, or from approaching the airplane landing, as I do in Philly. It doesn't necessarily mean I want to move back. There are things here that I love and wouldn't want to leave, like Siobhan's job that she's become very invested in, the neighborhood that we live in and the future growth that is going to happen, the fact that we were able to buy a great house for an affordable price with a nice backyard, our growing dog sitting business, the warmth and lack of snow shoveling, and my growing comfort with managing my time while working at home. It's all great, and I would say that it's been an awesome experience, but honestly, I think the "experience" ended after about 6 months, and now it's just life.

So it was definitely a welcome sight this past month to have so many family members come down and visit us in our new home. My mom scheduled a visit for the weekend after we moved in, which was awesome because it was the first time she had come to see us and she didn't have to stay in our frat-party apartment building. At first I was worried that we would still be in the process of moving and our house would be a wreck, but it was actually great timing because we moved in fairly quickly and she was able to be here to help us settle in a little bit and put some home-y touches on.

Two weeks later, my sister Ashley flew down for a work event, which is just a crazy coincidence because Charlotte's the only place outside of Philadelphia that her job operates. It was a little bit bittersweet for her I'm sure because she was here on Mother's Day away from her kids, but it was awesome to hang out with her in some beautiful weather, sitting outside at the brewery with a break from being a mom. Thankfully by this time we had all our cable and internet set up so I didn't have to drive back to the apartment during the day to work, but unfortunately this was when our air conditioning decided to stop working. We had it assessed through our home warranty and they determined it needed a new evaporator coil, which I assumed would only take a few days to replace (uh huh, try three weeks). I was a bit concerned that we were going to be welcoming in my sister to our sweltering house and she wouldn't be able to sleep the night before her work event, but luckily it wasn't terribly hot and I rented a couple window A/C units to keep it comfortable. She was kind enough to invite us out to the charity fundraiser dinner she coordinated the next day at a nearby Country Club, which was quite an experience -- turns out the wealthy, successful and generous can tell a good story or two. I'd like to give them a quick plug right now, not for any reason except that I think what they do is great and not pretentious or self-serving in any way, and also my sister is the steady locomotive that keeps the operation running and I'm incredibly proud of her. It's called Michael's Way and they help fund out of pocket expenses for families of sick children: http://www.michaelsway.org/

With the daily cycle of working and living your own lives, and with the help of technology like FaceTime, it's easy sometimes to forget that I'm 500 miles from my family. It's not as if I'd be seeing them on a random Thursday anyway, but when Ashley was leaving to head back home and I was dropping her off at the airport, it definitely hit me that now she has to take a flight down to see us, when previously we were only a half hour drive away. In other ways, though, it made me proud to be able to have her here and show her around, give her a little bit of our experience of living here. Since I've really become an "adult", I've always looked up to my sisters to give me a little bit of guidance as far as how things are supposed to be done. It was nice to show her that, even though we love and miss everyone up in PA, we're doing pretty well here and are very happy with what we have.

A week or so after that, Siobhan's parents came down to visit us and see us in the new house. I would say that I'm lucky to have the in-laws that I have -- I'm not sure if lucky is the right word exactly, but I think it's close. I love Siobhan and I was thrilled to be able to marry her. To have such a great relationship with her parents is really just an added bonus and not something I could have had any control over. I get just as excited for them to come visit as I do for my own parents. I enjoy that they have similar interests to us -- when they visit us, they like to go out and appreciate a good meal and good drinks, they're happy to take Alfie (and whatever guest pups we have) out for walks and don't mind when one of them jumps into bed, and we usually end every night by getting furiously bitter with one another playing euchre. They're also incredibly helpful around the house, which came in handy this time because I was about to rip my hair out trying to fix an issue with our washing machine and Rob went out of his way to find a solution for me.

While they were here, we decided to have a little housewarming party with our Charlotte friends, which was a good time. It really gave us a chance to have a bunch of people coming into OUR home, and it was a great feeling to see people having a good time. It wouldn't have been the same experience without the help of Rob and Philis, who are vets at the dinner party game. I was grateful to have them here helping, just as I'm grateful that they play such a big role in my life.

As we prepare to pack up and head back, I'm wondering how it's going to feel seeing our old city and visiting our old neighborhoods now that we own a house here in Charlotte. I have a little bit of a weird psychological response to going back to my old houses -- even this past month, when I had to go back to our apartment building in South End, I was struck when I saw how many people were still there, even people newly moving in. Some part of my brain feels like, if I'm moving away from a place, that means EVERYONE is moving away from it. Of course I know that the places we've left are still perfectly good places to live, but it's just a knee jerk reaction that I can't believe other people are still there. So I'm curious to see what type of reaction I'll have to heading back to Philly. I'm excited to see our friends and family that we haven't seen for six months, but it's definitely bittersweet to be leaving our new home for so long. We're going to miss our bed, miss our deck and our yard, miss the neighbors on our street that have become such good friends in a short time. But it's a necessary trip, combining several family get-togethers, weddings, and outings with friends all in one. Not quite a vacation as I will still be working pretty much every day, and Siobhan will be taking a week to go for a school training in Colorado. It'll be invaluable to get this much quality time with our families, and we're looking forward to hitting some of our favorite restaurants in the city, but I'm a little nervous about waking up every day and wondering how things are going down here, crossing my fingers that there are no problems, and missing the comforts of the place that we've come to call our home.

#075 - Joys of Homeownership

So, to steal from John Oliver, just time for a quick recap of the week:

We bought a house.

It's a solid little Craftsman-style 3 bed / 2 bath place in a neighborhood called Villa Heights just outside of Uptown Charlotte. And it's great. I can say I never would have expected that we'd be buying a house 8 months after moving here, but this whole thing just kind of took off and we lucked into a great house right within our budget.

So, with that good news taken care of front and center, I will say the whole home-buying process has led me into some interesting thought processes. Bear with me.

I've had a pretty easy life.

In no way do I mean this to be self-congratulatory, because I genuinely believe most of these things to be the benefit of existential good luck. I was born in a first-world country. My parents worked hard and provided everything I needed as a child. I was raised in a safe neighborhood in a great suburban town. I don't know how difficult it is to go without necessities. I grew to be 6-foot-5 despite the fact that my parents are 5-foot-9. I lived in a town with a great school system. I graduated in the top 10 in my high school class, and I got PLENTY of sleep. I got into every college I ever applied to, even when those more deserving were left out. My first and only full-time job was a benefit of having a friend who gave her boss my name. And even then, I only got the job because my best friend couldn't take it. I've never been punched in the face. In fact, I could probably say I've never really been punched, period. I've never broken a bone or torn a ligament. The only fracture I've had was in my pinkie -- my LEFT pinkie. The only woman I ever asked to marry me said yes. And, even though I'm convinced it will happen every single time, I have yet to be in a plane crash.

I realize I'm invoking every possible jinx there is by saying all of this, but I do appreciate the good fortune I've had throughout my life. Normally stress is not something I even think about. I have it good, why should I be stressed? I say all of this now, because as I've been dealing with the difficulties of buying a house and moving in the last month, I've come to realize that it's the most stress I've ever been under for an extended period of time -- in my life.

I've kind of made a mountain out of a ... pitcher's mound? ... with this whole process, and I'm realizing it now. It's not that moving has been hard or that we ran into issues with our mortgage or anything, it's just been a constant stream of one thing after another that I've felt I needed to take care of immediately or suffer the consequences. We needed to secure a mortgage at the best rate possible, so I tackled that goal. We needed to find someone willing to take over our lease at our apartment, which turned into a terribly long process with several people showing interest and then backing out at the last minute. Until finally we found someone, who disappeared and stopped contacting me for a week. Even as I write this, I'm still only about 90% sure that they're going to take it, despite the fact that they've signed all the paperwork. I'm a person who has almost no issue spending a lot of money in tiny chunks, but when it comes to losing a whole month's rent on an apartment that we don't need, it makes me irrationally angry. Once that was done, we needed to pack and move. And we wanted the house cleaned ahead of time, which went smoothly. And we wanted all our services initiated before moving in -- water, gas, electric, internet. The gas company informed us of an unsafe condition on our stove that was never mentioned, so we had someone come out and fix it. The internet is still not on, despite me calling every day this week and being told, "All you need to wait for is someone to come by your house and turn the switch on outside." Amazingly, that process can take up to 5 days. It's not as if I work from home and need internet to do my job or anything. Then we had some electricians come to the house to put in some lights and network some cables, which took the better part of 11 hours, when they estimated it'd take 6. Which meant Siobhan and I waited around the house, holding Alfie on a leash so he wouldn't bother them, sitting and hearing them gripe about how difficult the job had become. All the while, we were getting used to living in a new house in a different neighborhood -- one that is definitely in a transition and causes me to get out of bed and check the locks twice before I go to sleep.

I'm sure all of these things are standard parts of being a homeowner. Anyone who reads this probably has several horror stories that go way deeper and might have made me break down in tears. But that kind of goes back to my first point, that I'm really not used to things like this, and I'm amazed that so many people choose to take on this task. I know that it'll be well worth it, hopefully as soon as tomorrow, when we'll be able to sit back in our house with all the initial fixes done, and just enjoy the fact that we now own this tiny piece of Charlotte. For right now, I'm just looking forward to that time.

Now that I've taken some time to reflect on it, I'm able to put all of these things into perspective in a better way, but for the last three weeks, not so much. I had a difficult time not taking the blame for every hiccup along the way. It made me feel like I was not prepared in the right way, or I was expecting too much of other people. One of the things that locks up my gut is the idea that my choices might be ruining someone else's day, and even more so when that person is my wife. At some point, she sat me down to tell me that I had been ignoring all of her ideas about the house and focusing solely on my own. She was right. I batted away every suggestion she had as if it wasn't important. That's a crummy way to treat any person, and an awful way to treat the most important person in your life. I had given more compassion to the contractors who I was paying a handsome rate.

When we first got engaged, we spoke with a pre-marital counselor, who we had chosen to be our officiant. In those discussions, one of the continual thoughts my wife had was that we needed to constantly work to make our marriage better. At the time, it seemed silly. We were so excited just to be together, how could we ever not be on the same page? Well, here's the answer. I ended up on a different page from her not because I sat down and decided to, but because I was simply barreling down my own path, clearing everything else in my way. That's where constant work comes in -- how can I stop myself from doing this the next time?

In some ways, I'm grateful for this experience, and the challenges that have come with it. I've learned a lot, and hopefully I've developed a little bit better stress management, though that's something I would prefer not to test any time soon. Even after all of that, I'm again struck by how fortunate I've been. Every time something came up, there was always someone I could talk to to help resolve the situation. I'm never on my own, even when I feel like I'm on my own. So thank you, to everyone, for that. It's pretty cool to know so many good people.

Now if you'll excuse me, I probably have to call my internet provider again, I haven't yet today.

#074 - Six Months South

As of February 1, it's been six months since we left Philadelphia and moved into our new place in Charlotte. Six months seems to be the first point of intersection between, "It's only been six months," and, "I can't believe how long we've been here." I think I have a weird relationship with time in that sense -- sometimes things seem equal parts very recent and quite long ago.

Charlotte's been a great place. It's amazing to think how little we knew about it before we decided to pack up our Philly life and come here, but I can say we haven't been disappointed. The winter weather has been very nice, we've had several days in the 60s and 70s even though it's January/February, and I don't mind it at all. Siobhan mentioned something about warm weather not really feeling like Christmastime, but I couldn't care less how cold or snowy it is on Christmas or any of the winter holidays. We've really enjoyed our time exploring the area. The neighborhood we live in has at least 4 breweries that I can think of within walking distance, and we go to them quite frequently. There aren't quite as many restaurants that we can walk to, but there are plenty within a short drive or Uber. (UberX rides are typically $5 - $8 to go pretty much anywhere we choose, which has been a welcome change.) And maybe I'm just buying into the cliche, but generally speaking people seem to be very friendly. Today we walked down a street we had never been on before, and a man said hello to us from across the way, and then told us how excited he is about the Panthers in the Super Bowl. The cashiers and baggers at the grocery stores we go to are always incredibly nice, and while that's a bit of a trend in the overall grocery store industry, it makes that Southern hospitality ring true.

Of course, that's not to say we don't miss home -- well, the "home" we've thought of as home for so long. The neighborhood we left in Philly will probably always stay with us as some of the best years of our lives. We miss the Schuylkill trail, and the restaurants so close by, and the dog park half a block away. Some people reading this might be like "Huh??" about the dog park, but it was a really huge part of our day. Alfie was there twice a day almost every day, and it was such a great place for us to go and unwind and see him scamper his little butt around with his friends. We made several friends at that park, people who ended up being really close, and who we were excited to go back and see when we were in town over Christmas. We just don't have that same experience here. I've taken Alfie to the dog park 5 or 6 times, and they are much bigger and dustier, much more suited for rugged outdoorsy dogs (and not our pampered little cockapoo). And the parks are a short drive away, nothing that we can walk to. Right after we moved, it was kind of embarrassing when our parents first asked us what we missed the most, because you'd think the typical answer would be friends or family. But it's the things that you don't even really think about that are probably what you end up really missing the most. Like the dog park. Or how many places we had within walking distance in Philly that we didn't have to worry about not drinking so we could drive there, or paying for an Uber to get us home. And while many of the restaurants we've been to here are very good (especially BBQ), we definitely miss a lot of the places we used to go in Philly, and finding a good pizza place has a constant struggle. (Before we ask for pizza suggestions from other people, we make sure they're from the northeast.) And frankly I have yet to eat a burger in Charlotte that measured up to four or five places I can think of in Philly. Some of that has been offset by delicious BBQ and biscuits, but for me, knowing where to get a delicious burger is almost an essential part of living. So much so that when we were home over Christmas, we went to Good Dog in the city and I nearly shed a tear over my meal of a burger and a Yards Philly Pale.

I think it's become a pretty typical thing to compare Philly and Charlotte, and of course I've done it a bunch myself and within this post, but when our families ask us, "Well, are you staying or coming back?" I don't really have a good answer. It's like two good options. When we left Philly and everything that we had there, I knew in many ways it would always be my home, and it would always be a place we could go back to if we were stuck. But Charlotte's a good option too. Charlotte's a great place if you like to be active and if you like to drink beer and if you don't necessarily mind getting in your car often. The last part I'm still working on, but there are a lot of positives to being here. We've found that making friends has kind of been an unusual experience, at least for a married couple in their late 20s/early 30s. It's a little bit like when you get to college -- you're all there for the same reasons, but you barely know anyone, so when you first start talking to someone you just kind of go, "Want to be friends?" We literally had that conversation with a couple who we met at a bar on the second or third night we were here. They were very nice, and at one point, the guy just said, "Hey are you guys in the market for friends? Because we are." We didn't really end up being friends, but the sentiment remains. In Philly, at least to me, it felt a little bit like everyone already had their own lives and their own circles. So many people here are transplants for work, and it kind of lumps you all into the same boat. A few months ago we were at a brewery (there's a common theme here) and we walked past a guy wearing an Eagles hat. I told him I liked the hat, something which is pretty common for me when I see someone sporting Eagles gear and I get excited. Two hours later, we were still sitting talking to the same people, and their story was so much like ours. We've had dinner with them twice and are in contact all the time. The more you talk to people, the more you realize this is how it goes here. And that's great. Having several good friends now has made the experience great. We've met several people in our building that have been really fun and easy to get along with. Our closest friends here live upstairs from us, and while we saw them constantly outside walking the dogs after we moved in, it never really clicked in until a chance dinner when we were both invited by a different couple. It's almost impossible for me to imagine our last six months of living here without these friends, and it all got spun into motion by a girl in the pool asking Siobhan, "Hey, are you new here? Come say hi." Very much like college -- a great college, where people aren't judgmental and cliquey. Maybe it's not like college at all.

All of that has definitely offset the sadness of being away from our friends and our family back home. As much as we like to stay home and watch movies and hang out with Alfie, we can only take so many nights of that before we go crazy. Being 500 miles away from family, it makes you want everyone to come visit constantly. But it's easy to understand how big of an undertaking that is, especially when people have their own plans and their own families and didn't expect for you to move a plane ride away. But it's hard not to be selfish. When I lived in Philly, I went through a stretch of four or five years where it seemed like I was saying good bye to all of my closest friends. First it was graduation from college, and everyone going off to their new careers or new grad schools. Then it was a bunch of people moving off to medical school, or to new jobs taking them all across the country, from one coast to another. I was so grateful to have that time with them, and so happy for them to be moving on to new opportunities, but a part of me still wished I could have everyone together in one place. Having my family nearby made it all go much smoother. I knew that I had them there, and I loved spending time with them, and there was this comfort of feeling like Philly would always be home because it's close to them. The same thing happened once I met Siobhan and her parents, and it became a part of our routine to go see them and have dinner and enjoy some time together. Now that I'm the one who left, it's weird to be on the other side. Of course I want people to come visit us, but I also want them to know that, even when we can't make it home for certain events that we would have been at if we were living there, that doesn't mean we don't think about them any less or wish we could be there any less. We knew going into this that being away from the people we cared about was a part of the package, and I think that we've grown to be okay with it.

Thank you for reading. I don't necessarily love talking about myself that much, or expressing all of my thoughts in such a way, but it's nice for me to periodically sit down and collect myself enough to write this. I don't assume anyone is clamoring to know about our lives, but I do appreciate when people are interested.

#073 - PHL --> CLT

Over the past two months, we've seen a lot of blank stares when people ask us to tell them why we're moving to Charlotte. Naturally, it must be for a job. Or for family. Or for school. Something simple like that. It certainly hasn't been that simple, just trying to explain in one or two words why we decided to move, and most of the time saying "Because we want to" doesn't seem to do the trick.

I've probably explained it to a few people before, but the concept is pretty straightforward: we came and visited, and liked it, and decided to do it. There were many more steps in the path here, but that was the gist. Throughout late winter we spent a heck of a lot of time looking at houses in the Philadelphia suburbs to purchase and move out of the city. We wanted to be close to family, close to the city, but in a house with more than one bedroom that we could actually afford. So we narrowed our choices and started looking along the Main Line outside Philly, and found a handful of houses that we really liked.

Eventually we pulled the trigger on a 4-bedroom house in Bryn Mawr that was a very reasonable price. But the process was rushed, we had to put an offer in on it quickly because it was a low price for the area and we wanted to beat everyone to the punch. When the offer was accepted, we knew we would have to put in some time to make sure 100% that this was going to be the house for us. So we went to take another visit and spend some time there, and in the neighborhood. Some concerns started to come up, like a number of renovations we'd like to have done and the fact that the house had no yard and was alongside a number of run-down older homes. There were incredibly narrow sidewalks and cars zooming down the street much faster than they should have been, but the house was still big and was only steps away from a neighborhood park. When we went through the inspection and found we'd need to make several changes to the roof and to some plumbing, it further cemented our sinking feeling that maybe this wasn't the right thing for us to do. We weren't certain that this was the house we wanted to be in for the next 5 years. We couldn't dedicate that much time and money to a place that didn't feel like home.

I felt like a real jerk backing out on a housing contract, but many things I read assured me that it's a common thing to do and that we shouldn't feel bad because it's a huge decision. My sister, who was our realtor during the process, made me feel more comfortable by handling it all and convincing me that our happiness was more important than sticking with the agreement. So we withdrew. $600 down for paying for the inspection, but in the end, it saved us from living in a place we weren't sure we liked.

After that whole experience, we were kind of a crossroads. We were coming up on the end of a lease in our condo in Philadelphia, which was great but had only one open-walled bedroom with no doors and no space at all for guests. It was time to move, but we wanted to take a break from looking for houses for a bit. It just so happened that we had a trip scheduled in early April to visit Charlotte, NC and Columbia, SC for Siobhan's birthday. She had signed up for a half marathon in Columbia where we could meet up with her friend, and her cousin lives in Charlotte where we wanted to go visit. So we flew into Charlotte and drove to Columbia for the race, then came back to Charlotte to spend the rest of the weekend. Her cousin Silver and Silver's husband Jesse were very kind to host us. They did a good job of showing us around a couple of neighborhoods and took us into the city center for dinner and a baseball game. The weather was great and we met a ton of very friendly people, many of whom had just recently moved to Charlotte. It's in the midst of a boom the last few years with banking pulling in tons of new employees and job transfers to the area, and there are apartment buildings going up on every corner.

In talking to some of these people, whether it be out at bars or restaurants or a dog park bar (that's a bar mixed with an off-leash dog park, basically the best thing ever), we heard the same thing coming out of everyone's mouths: "You should just move down here, you'll love it." It was kind of a nice thought at first, "Yeah, we could totally move down here, why not?" And then it became, "Well, why not? Really?" We saw a sign for an open house in the neighborhood and walked to go check it out. The house was beautiful and the realtor was very nice, offering to talk to us more if we'd like to discuss a possible relocation.

Walking back from the open house, we talked about it, the reality of doing it, whether we'd be able to secure jobs or keep jobs or afford it generally. Then over the next few days we talked about it some more. Whether we'd be okay leaving the friends and family we had in the Philadelphia area. Whether Alfie would enjoy it. (On that one we were pretty certain it was a 'yes'.) Ultimately the feeling was that we'd have to do it band-aid style: just go with it and stop deliberating the possibilities. If you know me at all, I think you'd understand how difficult I found that to be. I tried to stop myself from envisioning all angles--"What if we hate it?" "What if we love it???"--and the only way I was remotely able to do that was seeing how confident Siobhan was with everything. I figured, just like she figured, that if there was ever a time to do something kind of impulsive like this, it was now, while we're freshly married and without a ton of responsibility and can pack up all of our belongings into a relatively small space.

The biggest hurdle I think we had to clear was employment. Siobhan was okay with leaving her job at Penn, even though it was a pretty good one. She hoped to find another job, maybe at a university or maybe teaching at a school, since teachers were in higher demand in North Carolina than Pennsylvania. I wasn't interested in leaving my job. I'm kind of in the middle of working on everything, and knowing that there was a possibility that the move was not going to be permanent, I didn't want to throw myself into a move and a job hunt all at the same time. I was incredibly nervous to discuss it with my bosses, in part because I didn't want them to tell me that they wouldn't be okay with it and therefore we couldn't move, and in part because I was worried they'd tell me that they would be okay with it, and therefore we would move. When I finally mustered up the courage, it turned out that, yes, they were pretty surprised and certainly not thrilled, but ultimately supportive. I work for a terribly small company of only 5 people, with almost zero changes in personnel over the last 8 years, so if I were to leave it'd be a big change to handle. In the end it was easier for me to stay at my job so that I could keep doing what I was doing and knew how to do, and it was easier for them to keep me on so that they wouldn't have to worry about deciphering everything I had written since 2007.

Once we knew the move was possible, we double- and triple- and quadruple-checked ourselves that it was definitely what we wanted. And since we were doing it together, we decided it was. It's been kind of funny, so many people that we tell say, "Oh I wish I could just pick up and move like that. It'd be great." Well, it is great, but after doing it myself, I think more people definitely could. It's just something that people say, either because they don't want to sound negative, or because it's a dull excuse for them to not do something they say they'd like to. Before all of this stuff started, I was one of the last people in the world interested in moving. I love Philadelphia, both of us love Philadelphia, and we were incredibly comfortable and happy living there. We were a short drive from family and close to friends and activities and jobs. There was nothing not to like. But we had never really been out of the area. And the chance to do something like this wouldn't be around forever. At the risk of sounding like some fluffy life counselor, moving gives you a chance to learn a little bit more about yourself. Will you keep doing the activities that you were doing before, or will you find new ones? For me, it was almost essential to find a basketball league as soon as I could, and 24 hours after arriving here, I was in the gym playing pickup with a bunch of strangers. It's something that I'd probably go crazy without. Siobhan was able to find a running group in the first week. Moving can give you the opportunity to learn how to talk to people you don't know, which is something that I'm working on and Siobhan is already quite good at. It's been pretty good so far for my logistical skills of learning a new place, new roads, new names. And, especially since I'm now working at home, it's given me a chance to be okay hanging out alone, or, you know, alone with just Alfie. There are a lot of positives to be gained from an experience like this, so if you're thinking, "I wish I could," well, then just do it. Or don't do it. Either way, just feel good about your decision. We would have been happy to stay in Philadelphia, and we're happy to be here in Charlotte. A year ago, I wouldn't have believed that we'd do this, but now we're in a different place and we're excited to be making the most of it.

#072 - I Would Like to Shank the Academy...

Regarding Grantland's piece on the Academy Awards' biggest travesties:

Here is a link to the bracket: http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/307422_415872745167241_1128977251_n.jpg

Here is a link to the author's write up on the methodology: http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/8942448/tournament-determine-worst-academy-award-moment-modern-history

Go ahead, peruse it a bit. Unfortunately there isn't a great amount of information tagged with each entry, and some of the entry names have been oversimplified a bit. Some of the entries are all-time Oscar robberies, the ones everyone brings up every year in regards to snubs and miscalculations on the part of the Academy. For one thing, I will say it is a rather difficult task to pin down the reasoning behind some of the surprise winners. They're picked from an assortment of ballots, and the "scoring" (if you will) of the ballots is rather complicated. Here is a rather detailed article on how the nomination process works. It's not as if there's one group of people colluding together to get some movie shut out, which is the way people tend to view Ben Affleck's snub for directing Argo this year. So his victory for Best Director at the Golden Globes was a real f-you to the Academy, right? They didn't even nominate him. Well who the hell is the Academy? And is their shame even justified? Based on reading what I've read, essentially the Oscars voting boiled down to picking the films that the largest number of people thought was the best of the year (in whichever category they were voting). It's a different system than most people would think. If Ben Affleck showed up on all 300 (I'm making that number up) ballots for Best Director, surely he should be nominated, right? But what if he showed up in the third slot on EVERY ballot? And the first two slots were filled with a collection of other, talented, and in some way deserving directors. According to what I've read, it's entirely possible he wouldn't be nominated.

Imagine this process was applied to voting for the President. Of course, in our political system, it usually boils down to two main candidates, and selecting a winner is much easier. But what if there were 6 candidates? And you had to rank them? Say five of them split the "Number 1" spot equally across everyone's ballot, but in the "Number 2" spot, EVERY SINGLE PERSON had the same candidate? Well, it stands to reason that we'd all be fairly happy if that person won and became President, right? Not our first pick, but pretty damned close. Well, in the Oscars format, that person wouldn't even be nominated. And now we'd have to vote between five qualified nominees, only one of which anyone preferred to the aforementioned disqualified runner-up. The elected "winner" could only receive 22% of the vote and win by a slim margin, but everyone else is instantly deemed losers. And even further adding to the Oscars analogy, if only a couple thousand people with much different interests than you and I have were the ones who voted, it's very likely that a huge portion of the population would be in outrage over the selection. (On second thought, maybe our Presidential Election does mirror the Oscars.)

Now, put yourself in the shoes of an Academy voter. Theoretically, you can only vote for movies you have seen. Perhaps you haven't seen some of the ones that the public thinks are the best movies, maybe because you preferred to see other films instead, or the topic didn't interest you, or you're a human being and only have so much time. Additionally, perhaps you are one of these working Hollywood producers who makes up the Academy, and your close circle of friends worked on a film that is being considered for for the Oscars. Naturally, you'll want to support your friends and their work, especially if it is deserving OR underappreciated. Think about that one. Say you get your ballot and you think to yourself, "Oh, gosh, of course everyone is going to nominate The Dark Knight, think of how many people saw that film and worked on it. Even though I loved it, I'm going to nominate a small art house project and hope it can get some love." I'm not saying that's exactly how it works, but you could see where that's possible, right?

Ultimately, there's no perfect way to do it. But once you understand how the process works, and how in the end the winners could be selected by members of the Academy with varied levels of interest and association with the films in question, you get a better view of what a "snub" really is.

So let's take a look now at some of the incidents that have occurred in my lifetime that I consider to be Great Oscar Upsets. Certainly there were ones that happened well before I was watching, but it's hard for me to comment on those because I'm not sure what the public mindset was like at the time, or how different the Academy Awards were back then. (Some of these were pulled directly from the Grantland bracket.)

-- Crash Wins Best Picture (2006)

Yeah, it was kind of a joke that Crash won. At least it seems that way now. But at the time, remember Paul Haggis was a Hollywood golden boy, fresh off his deserving win for writing Million Dollar Baby. And the cast was large and diverse, perhaps creating a lot of connections in the voting class. Personally, the true winner that year should have been obvious. Brokeback Mountain was fantastic, and Ang Lee even won Best Director for the film (perhaps proving that directors are more progressive than the majority of film crew members and producers). However, it's not hard to see that the topic, and the all-too-easy tagline of "Gay Cowboy Movie" probably scared some voters away. The other contenders? Capote, Good Night and Good Luck, and Munich. Again, Capote featured a gay lead character (who was voted Best Actor--actors are of course more progressive). Good Night and Good Luck, unfortunately, just wasn't that good. And Munich was a fairly taut thriller not too different from this year's Argo, except it didn't involve a good American payoff.

-- Heath Ledger Loses Best Actor (2006)

Crash won Best Picture but was not the best picture of the year. Most people know that, and Crash's longtime reputation has suffered because of it. Instead of being simply a decent movie with a melodramatic throughline, it will forever be known as the horrible Oscar winner. The interesting "snub" from this year that I feel like should be mentioned more is Philip Seymour Hoffman's win over Heath Ledger for Best Actor. I think Hoffman was fantastic. It's not that he wasn't. He transformed himself into Truman Capote, and I know that critics and the Academy alike fall for that kind of thing (Jamie Foxx in Ray, Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln), but there's no rule that says playing an original character is easier than a historical figure. Especially not one with such depth and complexity as Ledger's. The true snub of the year.

-- Shakespeare in Love Wins Best Picture (1999)

There's no defense for Shakespeare in Love. It was the original Crash. Or maybe Rocky was the original Crash. But most people refer to this one as Harvey Weinstein's big win. The guy doesn't get where he got without being able to wield some sway. And maybe that's what happened here. Or maybe they were too tired of Spielberg and Tom Hanks being so weighty and serious all the time. That's my main theory, otherwise, how could anyone explain the logic behind making The Terminal? In most history books, good people have crossed out Shakespeare in Love and just filled it with Saving Private Ryan. The ten-year test holds with that one. Nobody cares about Shakespeare in Love anymore, except for the fact that it's a huge underdog winner. That's the lasting legacy of the film -- that it proves you can win over the voters with an aggressive campaign, and that maybe people don't like to just vote for a movie because everyone THINKS they're going to vote for it.

-- Samuel L. Jackson Doesn't Win for Pulp Fiction (1995)

This is a case where actors voting on the award probably significantly skews the result from what the general public would pick. Just because a character and performance is highly enjoyable and people still quote it to this day doesn't necessarily mean the acting was award-worthy. In this case, I would say Jackson was probably award-WORTHY, but I don't find this to be the huge crime that they are saying it is. Though, as a caveat, I've never seen Ed Wood, so I can't comment on Martin Landau's victory. However, Gary Sinise was damned good as Lieutenant Dan. You just can't watch a movie with him today and not think to yourself, "That's Lieutenant Dan."

-- The Dark Knight Snubbed for Best Picture Nomination (2009)

I will direct you here: Top 200 (25-1). That's probably about as much as you'd need to know about this. But, for fun, let's take a look at the nominees from this year: Slumdog Millionaire (winner), The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, The Reader, and Milk. How many of these films still move the needle? Any of them? Milk was quite good and represented a shift in public perception to gay characters (Sean Penn won Best Actor, again playing a public historical figure of whom we have video evidence). Button is by now considered a complete flop and a misstep for a personal favorite of mine (David Fincher) who returned strong with The Social Network. Slumdog was very good when I first saw it, and I still enjoy watching it, but won largely on a movement of promoting Indian culture, and repeat viewings years later makes it seem a bit garish. You can't really say exploitative though--Danny Boyle, to his credit, used a significant number of local actors and production assistants to capture his vision. I have no problems with its nomination. But at the time I didn't think it measured to The Dark Knight, and it still doesn't to this day. I'm quite certain that the movie was instantly dismissed due to its association with Batman. However, take away the cape. There was minimal CGI in this film. There was no cartoonishness. There were no aliens, no super powers. What is so "comic book" about it? If you take away the Batman logo, this movie is one of the great detective/crime thrillers of our generation. Look who is involved: Christopher Nolan, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman. These are pro's pros, not people interested in popcorn sales. Some credit the film with opening the Academy's limit on Best Picture nominations from 5 to 10, but in reality, that's a money-making move and not one intended to credit more filmmakers. As has been mentioned elsewhere, having more Best Picture Nominees just gives more studios the ability to plaster "BEST PICTURE (Nominee)" across the tops of their DVD cases and television advertisements. Still, as is the case with many of the other "snubs" on this list, The Dark Knight is winning the battle of longevity, both as a popular movie that is making tons of money and as a critical success that even viewers outside of the comic fanboy clique have grown to appreciate.

-- The Wrestler Snubs (2009)

Continuing the thought from above, if we could go back and re-do the nominations, I'd wager that The Reader, Frost/Nixon, and Button would be out, replaced with some combination of The Dark Knight, Doubt, Wall-E, and another film that I think was snubbed from even the mentions of the snubs: The Wrestler. The Wrestler is a great movie, one that didn't necessarily have any hype machine behind it, other than Mickey Rourke's terrific performance and the discussion over Bruce Springsteen's closing credits song. It's a shame, to me, that Rourke didn't end up with the Oscar. He did win the Golden Globe, and given the opportunity, effusively thanked his friend and mentor Sean Penn, whom he was selected over. While Penn deserves credit for stretching his comfort zone and perhaps Rourke was too encapsulated in his own, but upon watching both films, I was struck by the emotion that Penn was fantastic acting AS Harvey Milk, and Mickey Rourke simply WAS "The Ram". Again, this is a case of Penn not doing anything substandard or being a poor selection, just my feeling that Mickey Rourke OWNED his film and was deserving of the award.

-- City of God Not Nominated for Best Foreign Film (2003)

Once again, I'll direct your attention here: Top 200 (25-1). I haven't thought of this so much as a snub, largely because the Best Foreign Film category is usually an inaccurate representation of what films were true international masterpieces. I'm not even totally sure how they are selected / promoted, and if this wasn't already a beast of an entry, I might look into it. But this is just silly. I wager there are not many people who have seen City of God and come out of it thinking anything less than, "Wow." It represents everything that I think filmmaking should strive toward, and yet it comes from the most humble and scraped together beginnings. Hardly any of the actors are professionals, and the scenery, props, clothing, and characters were culled from the real lives of the people involved in the production. The film highlights something that I've felt is true about making realistic movies for a while -- one of the key features of seeing a movie is wanting to get lost in the story, wanting to believe what you're seeing is real, or could be real. But it is exceedingly difficult to see a Will Smith movie and not think, "That's Will Smith." Or Julia Roberts. Or George Clooney. You recognize their faces over and over again, regardless of how well they perform, and it's difficult to not understand you're watching a production. For many viewers, City of God is something completely different. I have noticed Alice Braga's face in the years since, as she has built herself a tidy career in American films. But I will admit, despite this being one of my all time favorite films, I had to look up the name of the actor who played Rocket just now (Alexandre Rodrigues). For the most part, you look at these faces and can only think of the characters they portrayed. I understand films in America is a business, and to sell tickets you need big names. But it's surprising that you don't see more experimental filmmakers casting unknowns to add a level of realism to their stories.

Getting back to the Oscars, I will say I have never heard of the 2003 Best Foreign Language Film, Nowhere In Africa. I do see that the fantastic Jet Li film Hero was nominated, but lost, despite being one of the most jaw-droppingly beautiful films I have seen in my life, as well as a great story. Shows that there are great upsets even for foreign films.

#071 - Midseason Futures Update

Since we've reached the midway point (or roughly midway point) of the NFL Season, I thought it'd be useful to go through my NFL season-long futures bets and see where I stand. Calculate how much money I project to lose (or, you know, in a perfect world, win).

PLAYER BETS

-Tony Gonzalez Rec TDs +0.5 vs Antonio Gates Rec TDs: 12.00 to win 13.8

They were paying me juice for this, in addition to the half-score. Seemed like at the very least a 50-50 proposition.

Currently: Gonzalez 4, Gates 2
Odds: 60%; Value: 15.48

-Wes Welker Rec Yds +78.5 vs Calvin Johnson Rec Yds: 12.00 to win 13.2

Again, I was getting juice. I figured they were both going to put up lots of yards, but Stafford was due for a down year. Also, I can't help but admit I was swayed a bit by the Madden curse.

Currently: Welker 736, Johnson 638 (Welker has played 1 more game)
Odds: Conservatively, we'll call it 45%; Value: 11.34

-Greg Jennings Rec TDs +0.5 vs Dwayne Bowe Rec TDs: 12.00 to win 8.89

I paid a lot of juice for this, which looks bad now, considering all the injuries that have piled up for Jennings. He did score once this year in only about a game and a half. But Bowe has been seemingly the only guy to reach the end zone for KC, doing it in garbage time a bunch.

Currently: Jennings 1, Bowe 3
Odds: Per injuries, 10%; Value: 2.09

-Devin Hester Ret TDs vs Patrick Peterson Ret TDs: 12.00 to win 8.89

Hester returns punts and kicks, Peterson does not. And considering Peterson's importance on defense, and the addition of Brandon Marshall to the Bears, I figured Hester'd be all over the return game this year. Yet to find the seam, but all he needs is 1.

Currently: Hester 0, Peterson 0
Odds: 55%; Value: 11.49

-Victor Cruz Rec TDs vs Dez Bryant Rec TDs: 15.00 for 13.04

Cruz is a better receiver in a better offense. Seemed to be a no-brainer, especially consdering Bryant's attitude / off-the-field issues.

Currently: Cruz 7, Bryant 2
Odds: 75%; Value: 21.03

-Tom Brady Pass TDs +1.5 vs Matthew Stafford Pass TDs: 15.00 for 13.04

Getting points on Brady. No way Stafford duplicates last season.

Currently: Brady 16, Stafford 8 (Brady has played 1 more game)
Odds: 65%; Value: 18.23

-Eric Weddle's INTs vs Charles Woodson's INTs or Kyle Arrington's INTs: 10.00 for 16.00

Well, at this point, Weddle is the only guy actually playing for his team. I'd say that's a good sign.

Currently: Weddle 2, Woodson 1, Arrington 0
Odds: 35%, Value: 9.10

TOTAL FOR SECTION: 88.00 Out, Projected 88.75 In

OFFENSIVE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

-Robert Griffin III: 10.00 for 60.00 (Odds: 40%; Value: 28.00)
-Trent Richardson: 6.00 for 60.00 (Odds: 25%; Value: 16.50)
-Andrew Luck: 24.00 for 30.00 (Odds: 30%; Value: 16.20)

I originally had bet RG3, but then I realized I could essentially lock in profit if any one of the three won (which seems like a foregone conclusion at this point), so I added the other two. I'm still hoping for Griffin, as that results in the biggest net gain, but the other two are acceptable as well.

TOTAL FOR SECTION: 40.00 Out, Projected 60.70 In

TEAM BETS

-San Diego Chargers AFC West Champs: 20.00 for 37.00

Screw the Chargers. I somehow get sucked into them every year. The collapse against New Orleans was one thing. The collapse against Denver was near inconceivable. But then to go on the road and lose at Cleveland just ended any and all relationship I have with that team. The amount of money I've lost on them in the last four weeks is atrocious. It looks like another 20 down the drain here.

Currently: 3-4, behind the Broncos 4-3
Odds: 20%; Value: 11.40

-New York Giants NFC East Champs: 20.00 for 40.00 (Odds: 55%; Value: 33.00)
-Philadelphia Eagles NFC East Champs: 43.00 for 67.25 (Odds: 10%; Value: 11.03)

Originally had the Giants, then wanted to hedge my bets a little with value on the Eagles after they beat New York. Hedged too much, I think. Wish I could sniff +100 on NYG anywhere, let alone +200.

-Seattle Seahawks NFC West Champs: 10.00 for 40.00

If they had managed to pull out that win at San Fran last week, this is a whole new ballgame. Then, they lost a late lead against Detroit, and now it's looking much less likely.

Currently: 4-4, behind the 49ers 6-2
Odds: 5%; Value: 2.50

-Pittsburgh Steelers AFC North Champs: 15.00 for 18.75

This one started to look really bad, but has since come back to life. The Ravens are reeling without Webb and Lewis. And the Steelers are finally putting it together, on the strength of their passing game. People automatically associate Pittsburgh with defense, but theirs is not very good right now. Same goes for Baltimore.

Currently: 4-3, behind the Ravens 5-2
Odds: 20%; Value: 6.75

-Atlanta Falcons NFC South Champs: 25.00 for 13.89

Made this after they started 2-0 or 3-0. Now, it's like stealing. Wish I had bet 250.

Currently: 7-0, ahead of the Bucs 3-4
Odds: 85%; Value: 33.06

-Denver Broncos Under 8.5 Wins: 15.00 for 20.25

Well, they were giving a lot of juice, and I wasn't convinced that this team was going to be ready to win 9 games. Fast forward 8 weeks, and I'm pretty convinced. The comeback win against San Diego has taken what could have been a really good season for me and turned it into pure mediocrity. Good call, me.

Currently: 4-3
Odds: 15%; Value: 5.29

-Jacksonville Jaguars Under 4.5 Wins: 20.00 for 37.00

I went down a couple notches here just to get the higher odds on this. I think they were at 5.5 when I made the bet. Didn't believe in them at all. So far, looking like my best one.

Currently: 1-6
Odds: 25%; Value: 14.25

-Arizona Cardinals Under 6.5 Wins: 20.00 for 17.39

When they were 4-0, this looked silly. Now they're 4-4, and I'm starting to regain hope. They just don't look very good. And while the defense is solid, they're not as good as they were to start the season, and not good enough to carry them again. They beat New England and dismantled Philly. Wow.

Currently: 4-4
Odds: 15%; Value: 5.61

TOTAL FOR SECTION: 188.00 Out, Projected 122.88 In

OTHER

-Will Rex Ryan still be coaching the Jets in Week 17: YES: 25.00 for 25.00

Bill Barnwell gave me the heads up to this. I figured it was a pretty good value. They'd have to collapse to get him fired midseason. They started to play better against Houston, Indy, and New England. But that game this week against Miami really changed my mind. Went from 65% to 40%.

Currently: 3-5 Record, last in AFC East
Odds: 40%; Value: 20.00

-AFC North will win the Super Bowl: 10.00 for 72.50

Going into the season, I figured they had one legit team (Baltimore) and one semi-legit team (Pittsburgh). Nowadays, it looks more like two semi-legit teams. Oh well, still not bad.

Odds: 10%; Value: 8.25

TOTAL FOR SECTION: 35.00 Out, Projected 28.25 In


TOTAL SO FAR:

Out: 351.00
Projected Return: 300.58
Projected Loss: -50.42

Umm... not good.


*UPDATE 11/05: Previously listed "NFC North" when I meant "AFC North". Thanks, JRK.

#070 - Finals Recap: King's Ring, Miami, Miami, Miami

I will refrain from using a photo on this post. Sorry. I know the photos are why everyone comes here. And by everyone, I mean, someone? Just don't feel like sifting through internet images of all the red and white confetti pouring down on Dwyane Wade's head. Sure, I'm a sore loser.

Simply put, the Heat outplayed the Thunder, and they outplayed them in a way that left little doubt as to which team was ready to win the championship. Congrats to OKC for managing to swing Game 1, but they botched every key moment, every potential opportunity to win a second game, every high-pressure situation from there on out. And not in a finger-pointing kind of way. In just a general, hey guys, we didn't get it done way. Westbrook dribbling it off his foot. Harden missing a fast break layup. Sefolosha getting numerous three pointers blocked. Durant trying to go behind his back in traffic (twice). The no-call on LeBron at the end of Game 2. Each of the biggest moments of the series from Game 2 on ended up flowing the Heat's way. And they deserve all the credit, they did what they needed to, especially the big-time three point shooting of Battier, Chalmers and Miller, and the free-throw shooting of Wade and LeBron in the clutch.

There seems to be a big confusion between not wanting a team to win and being a hater. I've never been a LeBron hater, I'm not sour simply because he won and I want him to suffer endless defeats. I merely preferred the narrative of LeBron on the Cavs, building his own team, crafting his own legend. That's what I wanted to see. Not the Basketball SuperFriends. It has nothing to do with not respecting LeBron's game. I just didn't like his choices. For the last three years, there's never been a time for me when I was uncertain as to who the best player in the league was. It was always LeBron. Even if the Thunder had beaten the Heat, that wouldn't have proven Durant as better. He's not. That's not to say he's not better at certain things, because he is, and his pure scoring ability ranks up there with the greatest of all time. LeBron is a different beast all together. Defense, rebounding, fast break, passing. He performs at a world-class level in almost every facet of the game. There's never been a stronger finisher. End of story. All of the "If they win, what does it mean" conjecture is bullshit. It doesn't mean anything. He still would have been LeBron if they had lost. He still would have been the best in the game. Maybe it might have meant that he didn't play like it, but he had a really solid game in Game 1, and they lost that game. It just turned out throughout the series that he got the help he's been asking for.

The biggest thing I credit LeBron on is his acceptance of his faults. He won't publicly admit it, despite his recent confession that he felt he was immature during the loss to Dallas last year. His game is what speaks to his acquiescence. Instead of trying to be a jumpshooter, taking the opportunities given to him by very cautious defenders, he played aggressive. I don't think he's ever going to be an elite jumpshooter. He can get better, and he has, by he doesn't have the body dynamics of a Ray Allen or a Kevin Durant. His shooting form is too bulky and mechanical. He shoots best only when he has the space to set himself properly. That's okay, it's not the worst thing in the world to not be an elite shooter, but there was a long period of time where it seemed like that's what he wanted. This Finals proved that he understood his weaknesses, and he wouldn't succumb to them. Harden gave him jumper after jumper, "Please shoot it, please, please," and he wouldn't give in. It was easy to see that the biggest problem with the Heat version 1.0 was LeBron's and Wade's jumpshooting. Force them into those 19 footers, and you'll survive. Everyone acknowledged it, except for the players themselves. In the Finals, it seemed like they (at least LeBron) said, "Enough."

The Thunder will roll right along next year. I don't think they'll have any hiccups. They might look to add some depth -- I don't think Derek Fisher can be counted on for the same production next year, though it will be a huge bonus to get Eric Maynor back. They certainly might like a back to the basket scorer, if one exists out there, and it wouldn't kill them to flip Perkins. In my mind, one key player that they're missing is a Stephen Jackson type (or his less aggressive counterpart, Shane Battier). A decent three point shooting wing player who is strong enough to guard the best 2s and 3s in the game while Durant works on his strength and defensive footwork. I think that player would be great for them, because Sefolosha, while being a terrific defender, lacks threat offensively, and Harden in my eyes is a bit undersized. Early mock drafts have them taking Jeff Taylor from Vanderbilt, an excellent shooter for a 6'7" forward, and I think the fit would be great (though his defense is clearly well below what they'd look for). The worst reaction would be to panic and break up parts of the core. I have to give Russell Westbrook a tremendous amount of credit for what he did throughout these playoffs. Last year, I thought he might be the weak link, the problem player that could keep them from reaching their goal. This year, I know for certain that's not the case. Sure, he doesn't always make the extra pass, and his game management is questionable. But this guy gives his heart, night in and night out. When the rest of the team seemed resigned to fate late in Game 5, he was booking it up and down the court, losing by 25 points, taking it hard to the rack, trying to press ball handlers. In the span of a few weeks, I've really grown to love him. If it came down to Harden or Westbrook going forward, I think the Thunder will stick with Russ. He wants it, and he wants it with Durant, his big bro and number one fan. To me, there's a piece of Harden that screams, "I want my own team." He might get his wish.

I can't really explain why it is that I like this Thunder team -- I just do. I enjoyed Durant's performance his one year at Texas, and naturally, I was interested to see where he went in the pros. He and I are built similarly, and if there's anyone's game that I would want to have myself, it'd probably be his, but that certainly doesn't explain all of it. Once they moved and the prospect of a new team was out there, I paid more attention. They had a solid core, young guys, likeable guys. Westbrook was a pinball, Durant was the anchor. Keeping it steady. I was a fan of Harden at Arizona State (at least, until he laid a massive egg in the NCAA Tournament) and it was nice to see him go to OKC in the draft. And Nick Collison has truly become one of my favorite players in the league. He accepts who is he, and doesn't try to do any more. That's admirable. I've felt an affinity for this team for a while, and I was really pumped to see them get to the Finals. Unfortunately, once they got there, they ran into a team that was playing better.

The one thing everyone can agree on from this playoffs is that the Heat did it, and they did it without controversy. I understand Rose and Howard were injured -- but given their teams' performances without them, I hardly think they would have factored enough to take out Miami. And OKC got the short end of the stick on many questionable calls, but in my eyes, I don't think they did enough otherwise to warrant that gripe. There's no fix, there's no barking about preferential treatment. LeBron James was the best player of the playoffs, is the best player in the game, and he got himself a championship, thanks to an extremely productive supporting cast.

Not liking a team is not the same as hating on them. Last year, there was an abundance of undue venom spewed LeBron's way for how he played in the Finals. He underperformed, they lost, I think he probably felt bad enough about that. I didn't want to see them win last year, and I was happy for Dirk when the Mavs got it. I didn't want to see them win this year, and I'm pretty bummed for Durant and the rest of the Thunder that they fell short. LeBron deciding to bail on the Cavs and trying to do it with Wade in Miami left a bad taste in my mouth. I felt like it robbed us of seeing a potential legend in the making in a place nobody expected; he had a chance to make Cleveland his own. It didn't change his skills as a player, I just didn't like it. But dislike is different from disrespect. The Heat played superbly in the Finals, and throughout most of the playoffs. They got what they deserved.

#069 - Finals Game 3: MIA 91, OKC 85

Sometimes, there isn't a ton of in-depth analysis to be made on a sporting event. Sometimes, there aren't hidden stats that help to explain the bigger picture. Sometimes, everything that you believe you're seeing is reflected in the outcome of the game.

Game 3 was one of those times.

The Heat didn't play that great. Their offense seemed simple: they made layups and dunks and free throws, but nothing else. So, their poorest possessions came when they dribbled and dribbled and then shot a jumper. Their defense defense was just about the same: when they guarded tight, the Thunder rarely scored, and they came up with a lot of takeaways. So, their poorest possessions came when they didn't get around screens or jogged back in transition. It was pretty easy to see, as you were watching the game, that this was a team that wasn't firing on all cylinders.

The good news for the Heat? The Thunder were firing on less. A lot was said about the Thunder finally playing a strong first half, not falling into a double digit deficit. They played good, not great, weathering an early onslaught of Heat layups and forcing them to shoot some jumpers late. Durant seemed to have it going when he got space (the space was easier to be found when it wasn't LeBron guarding him) but nobody else was really playing well offensively.

It was the first time, maybe all playoffs, that I could truly say the Thunder under-performed. And it's a shame, because the game was there for the taking. They built a 10-point lead off of Derek Fisher's absurd three pointer-and-one play in the third quarter, you know, the one right after Durant got his fourth foul and went to the bench. Ten points! On the road! In Miami! And then after squandering that with an offensively futile lineup (Harden, Cook, Sefolosha, Collison, Fisher ... seriously, Brooks?) they managed to cut it back to 1 with 1:30 left following Sefolosha's steal and Westbrook's jumper. The game was there for the taking.

Unfortunately, they didn't take it.

The last 1:30 of the game highlighted all the problems for the Thunder that the previous three plays had tried to erase: they fouled the Heat, often times far from the basket, the Heat nailed (almost) all of their foul shots, Westbrook missed a wide open three pointer, Sefolosha threw away an inbound pass, and Durant failed to establish himself in a good position to catch the ball and get a shot off. You might expect to see a similar sequence in a mid-February game against a lesser opponent, but in the Finals, you can't survive when you play like that in the most crucial 1:30 of the season.

That being said, I believe there are some positives that the Thunder can potentially take advantage of going into Game 4. It's up to them, however.

One: when Durant is trying to get the ball when guarded by James in the fourth quarter, it seems like he struggles mightily when trying to post him up and play back to the basket. This is not a surprise. LeBron James is close to the strongest player in the league, and in this series, is certainly the strongest player on the court. He has regularly pushed Kendrick Perkins out of the paint without much difficulty. In my estimation, Durant has fared better against LeBron when he has the ball already in his hands and is facing him. What does this mean going forward? Honestly, start watching some tapes of Allen Iverson. Far too often, the Thunder offense consists of Westbrook dribbling out top while waiting for Durant to position himself at the elbow for an entry lob, typically when they run a screen play to switch Durant onto Westbrook's defender, or when running Durant around a pindown screen set by Sefolosha. All season, this has worked fine, and you don't like to change the strategies that got you to the Finals once you're there. But they didn't play the Heat all season. When you stick out your butt and start backing into a defender, you're inviting contact. The refs will allow the defender more freedom to push you back, knowing that it was because you initiated. If you catch a ball out top in space and face a defender, any contact from that point is likely going to be a foul (thanks to the rules instituted by the NBA a few years ago to re-ignite scoring). Since fouling out against Boston, I believe LeBron James has shown an aversion to fouling. He feels that he's too important to the team (and he's right). Additionally, he doesn't see the benefit to fouling Durant, a good free throw shooter. I'm not a professional coach, and I don't have the experience these guys have, but from watching the games, I think you HAVE to start considering running Durant off screens or finding some way for him to catch the ball with space. If he adds 25 pounds down the road, then he can start making more plays with his body.

Two: John Hollinger, finally, thankfully, mercifully posted an article on his blog that breaks down the effectiveness of the Thunder's small-ball (KD at the 4, three guards) lineup using each of their three big men (Perkins, Collison, Ibaka). The article is here: PER Diem Blog. (Note: it's an Insider, so if you're not an Insider, I apologize.) The summary? Perkins played a bunch of minutes with the small ball lineup in Game 3, and was not effective. Collison, likewise, wasn't either (though he gets a pass in my book for playing with the small lineup sans Durant and Westbrook, as mentioned above). Ibaka only got a few seconds. So Hollinger went through the stats of the season, and found all the scenarios where Perkins, Collison, and Ibaka played with the small ball lineup. The results? Perkins was +5.0 per 48 minutes regular season, +5.3 playoffs. Collison was +20.3 regular season, +13.1 playoffs. Ibaka was +19.1 regular season, +19.7 playoffs. Yes, +5.0 is good enough to win games. But the reality is, they're staring at a dominant lineup, and not using it. Ibaka sat the entire fourth quarter. Why? He's faster than Perkins, a better shooter, better finisher at the rim, and a better shot blocker. Perkins is rather plodding. He takes a long time to gather himself once he receives a pass, has far too often begun to dribble with the ball and subsequently turned it over (traveling, steal, offensive foul), and has negligible vertical lift. That's not his fault. He's a large man with a history of knee issues. I credit the effort that he gives night in and night out, but he spent the fourth quarter being responsible for Chris Bosh (Bosh entered with 9:40, Perkins entered with 5:58). From 5:58 on, Bosh had 4 rebounds, including 2 offensive. Perkins had 1. I know that's a small sample size, but Bosh is simply too quick and too long for Perkins. His more natural rival would be Ibaka. I spent the entire second half saying this, and felt vindicated when the numbers came out to support my hypothesis. Each of these games has come down to a tense fourth quarter, with the game able to be won by either side. Spoelstra has stuck with his guns, playing his five best players a majority of the late game minutes (James, Wade, Chalmers, Bosh, Battier). Scott Brooks, alternatively, has not--sticking instead with Perkins and Derek Fisher for major minutes. Though Fisher continues to make surprisingly big plays, I still want to see the lineup without him on the floor. I understand that substitutions throughout the game is about managing energy and matchups. But to me (and to about every coach from what I've seen) the last six or eight minutes of a close game are when you ignore a player's rest and concentrate on getting your best lineup on the floor. The Thunder's five best players are Ibaka, Durant, Westbrook, Harden (despite his performance so far) and Sefolosha. Hollinger, amazingly, indicates that they've used this lineup for a total of FOUR minutes this season, which is an appalling number. Certainly not all their games have been against opponents like the Heat or Spurs, who both use a combination of one big man and four guards/small forwards, but this lineup needs to find its way onto the court. I'd be willing to substitute Collison for Ibaka, even, as I think Collison has more polished defensive rotational skills and is a better screener offensively.


Miami Summary

Game MVPs:
-LeBron James (29 pts, 14 reb, 3 ast, clutch free throw shooting)
-Chris Bosh (poor shooting but always seemed to come up with the huge defensive plays and rebounds)

Unsustainable Positives:
-They made 16 more free throws than the Thunder. I don't expect this trend to continue.

Sustainable Positives:
-Bosh figuring out how to impact the game when he doesn't get touches. Here's a guy who I watched absolutely obliterate his team's chances against Chicago with a 1-for-18 shooting performance. Tonight he shot 3-for-12, but instead of forcing it, got key rebounds and blocks. This is a scary concept for OKC, who must counter with more of Ibaka on Bosh, who is simply too long and too quick for Perkins.
-LeBron James getting to the bucket. This is a running theme.

Unsustainable Negatives:
-Their outside shooting, while not good, is not as bad as this. They shot something like 12% from outside the paint.

Sustainable Negatives:
-OKC was letting Wade shoot jumpers. He was taking them, and missing them, for the most part. This is again a running theme.
-Chalmers and Norris Cole combined 1-for-10. Luckily this time, Chalmers only had one turnover.


Oklahoma City Summary

Game MVPs:
-Serge Ibaka, sadly (seemed to make a nice difference defensively when he was in, but only played 22 minutes)

Unsustainable Positives:
-Four point plays from Derek Fisher.
-Forced 9 Miami turnovers in the fourth quarter. This is insane, and they're probably the only team to ever do that and still lose.

Sustainable Positives:
-Durant had it going early, but that was about it. Need to find this more consistently throughout the game. Far too often, he's content with letting his teammates take over the offense, as he likes to encourage a supportive environment. When your back is against the ropes in the Finals, this needs to change.
-Until the fourth quarter, they were doing a great job keeping control of the ball. The shots weren't falling, but they were maintaining possession and not giving up easy ones.

Unsustainable Negatives:
-I want to say such poor free throw shooting, but I'm not positive. They haven't shot well yet this series.
-It's not likely Harden goes 2-for-10 again. Crossing my fingers.

Sustainable Negatives:
-They were significantly out rebounded, which is something that needs to change. With the small ball lineup, Harden, Westbrook, and Sefolosha have to make a serious effort to get on the glass.